Frontier Dreams: Glow

Monday, July 8, 2013

Glow

cleaning up the yard

nara and kevin

voodoo vegan doughnut

voodoo vegan doughnuts!

finished bunting

beowulf and paw paw longing for yummies

What could the girls be looking at so intently?

shrew nose

Here's a peek...

shrew (1 of 4 we found that day)

It's a shrew!

Just a few glimpses into the past four days.

Impromptu stop at Voodoo Doughnut for some vegan sweet yummies. The last time we were there was the day Little L was born. The combination of the doughnut and walking our husky is what brought labor on. Well, at least that's what I say!

The girls got their Fourth of July celebration they so badly wanted with s'mores and all! We made our red, white and blue popsicles but then I forgot about them until the day after. It was a bit too chilly for them at the time, anyways. We couldn't see any fireworks (It's a bit hard to see the sky when you're in the woods!), but made some of our own with glow bracelets. The girls thought the above pictures were hilarious.

Kevin saved four shrews from imminent death (at the jaws of Paw Paw). The girls mothered them until nightfall (even bringing them into our house inside of pots and pails) when we released them behind our fence.

I am going through a rough patch right now with one of my sweet children and trying to keep my head above water. I would so appreciate any prayers and words of encouragement you would be willing to give. I know a lot of it comes from this period of transition and even more looming on the horizon but that can be hard to remember when you are in the moment. I find myself questioning if I'm cut out to parent a strong-willed child. This challenging, but oh so loving, child of mine was sent to me for a reason and I don't want to let her down!

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greenfreaks 68p · 617 weeks ago

one of my friends was just at voodoo doughnuts. :)
love all these pictures, and shrews! how exciting.
((hugs)) to you in this new phase

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leigh · 617 weeks ago

sweet pictures & celebration! Hang in there and "this too shall pass," as they say. Everyone has gone through a rough patch with a child before. Please remember to go easy on yourself - I can tell your parenting always comes from a place of love - remind yourself you are doing your best! Sometimes children can be a real challenge as they grow. I will pray for you & your family. : )

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aimee · 617 weeks ago

Great pics and it looked like a lovely celebration, and the shrews made me laugh.
Don't second guess yourself about parenting, you are quite obviously a fantastic mum. There are always harder times and they inevitably cause us to question ourselves. Some days I think I count to 10 more often than I just think thoughts!
My current 'got to' is 'How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk' (nice short catchy title huh?!) but some days I just have to try and hold on to the tiny slice of sanity I have left and ride the day out like im a cork on a river!

Just remember to cut yourself a little slack, remember your all going to be edgy and stressed with the changes that are on the horizon and you're doing your best, that is all anyone can ask for. There is no right or wrong for spirited or challenging children, just what works for you.

Ps your pawpaw and beowolf have amazing eyes - is it the breeds?

2 replies · active 617 weeks ago

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Isla · 617 weeks ago

I will include you in my prayer, Nicole. My first born is a very strong-willed child and sometimes it is not easy. On the other hand she has 'taught' me a lot about myself, finding my inner strength and detemination (I used to go with the flow and give in very easily to avoid confrontation and sticking up for myself), also about trust and letting go. She's a great child and I am very grateful that she is the way she is. :-)

I love the pictures. Those glow-sticks are great.

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katy010305 45p · 617 weeks ago

We have all been there with our children, Mama. Stay strong and pray your way through it. You are *definitely* able to parent a strong willed child...and when you have times when you think you aren't strong enough yourself, you lean on the one Who is. Prayers for you!

Warmly,
Katy

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Justine · 617 weeks ago

Hugs and many warm thoughts as you journey down this path with your child. I'm certain you will both come out on the other side. I always admire the gentle grace with which you seem to parent your children and I'm sure this instance will be no different. Wishing you peace with yourself and your decisions about how you choose to tackle the challenges you are facing.

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akeeys 65p · 617 weeks ago

Your glow stick photos are wonderful! (and those shrews - wow! I had no idea what a shrew even was apart from a shrieking child/wife haha).

I have a few strong willed children in my bunch. It is HARD work. So hard. I too sometimes wonder if I'm cut out for it. Actually I wonder that more often than not :) But I'll be saying a prayer for you and yours tonight, and hoping you feel a little lighter soon.

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eidolons · 617 weeks ago

My oldest son is extremely strong-willed. I constantly worry that I'm being too hard on him. Or too slack. I worry that I'm going to "mess him up" or that I'm just not good enough. We've tried so many different approaches to things and still have to constantly rethink ourselves. It's a rough ride sometimes. But when I see the light shine from him face, I know that I can't possibly be doing too terrible of a job.

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msagala1 32p · 617 weeks ago

Hang in there! Some kids just struggle more with transition than others, and of course, they let this out in the most unusual ways! My daughter is definitely one of those - we're awaiting the imminent birth of a baby sister at our house, and she is really struggling with this time of waiting. Sometimes she is her usual self, and other times it feels like she is regressing on every front!!! Thankfully, I was a sensitive kid, too, and so I know that the best thing you can do for a kid like that is just to be a calming presence in their lives. I go out of my way to talk softer and move slower and it makes a HUGE difference in her behavior!

2 replies · active 617 weeks ago

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allison · 617 weeks ago

don't shrews have a poisonous venom?

1 reply · active 617 weeks ago

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sustainablemum · 617 weeks ago

Perhaps you could ask yourself where her thoughts and wants are coming from, does she have a need, a fear, a want that is not being met or answered. Does it really matter that she is thinking differently to you, if no one is going to be hurt by her actions, if it does matter then can you think about why it matters to you. I may be wide of the mark here as I don't know the real causes. It doesn't hurt to apologise if you are wrong and say something that you later regret. Be gentle on yourself, you are a good parent and can only do your best whatever your best is.

1 reply · active 617 weeks ago

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Laura · 617 weeks ago

Strong willed children turn out to be very strong adults. Our kids were always independent. They loved to pack their own suitcases, tell me I was going the wrong way when I was driving, rearrange the kitchen if I would let them which I wouldn't etc.

My youngest was the bossiest. She was extremely strong willed. I could tell you stories for a long time about her. Now she is living in a major city in Texas and and has a great job! Hang in there. It pays off. Some just come into the world wanting to rule but they make wonderful adults. I would rather have a kid like that than one that has no ambition and wants to sit on the couch and live at home! Lol! Hang in there. You guys are doing great!

1 reply · active 617 weeks ago

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del · 617 weeks ago

I don't comment often but I also have a strong-willed child. I take comfort in the fact that when he's older, he won't be easily swayed to go along with the crowd; he'll forge his own path. So, like your strong-willed one, more likely to be a leader than a follower. I feel that's a good thing. Hang in there, we've all had our share of days, and it always passes. {{{hugs}}}

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Linda · 617 weeks ago

Lovely post Nicole, I'm so happy the shrews were saved, I really want to design a pattern for one soon.
xo

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Melissa · 617 weeks ago

I too have a strong willed daughter, right in-between the ages of your two girls, but I find that the times when she is the most controlling, or bossy, or upsetting, etc. Those are the times when she is feeling the most insecure and she needs me to be the parent even more. I find her attempts to take control most are when she feels out of control, and its a wake up call for me that i've been slipping up on our rhythm. So when shes having one of those days I just try to keep the rhythm as much as possible reinforcing the areas where I think we might have slipped and often she'll relax into it. Some days there are tears and we have to take a time out with lots of hugs and cuddles and maybe a game or book or two, but I always notice that after that she seems to feel much better, tears sometimes are the best cure as much as they wrench are hearts. I hope this helps I understand what you're going through and i'm just hoping that all of these difficult qualities that she displays as a child will make her a fantastic adult.

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Kate Talley · 617 weeks ago

Half of my children..we have 6....are strong willed. It is very difficult especially during hard times, like the move that is upon you. Nicole, this world is so.very.hard. And sometimes VERY unsafe for girls and women. It is a blessing your little C is strong willed. My feeling is that your strong willed nature helped you and may have even protected you as a very small girl. Try to breathe deeply, and remember that your beautiful babies chose YOU and Kevin for important reasons. I will pray for you! Love, Kate Talley

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Rebecca · 617 weeks ago

I think strong willed kids just want someone to listen to them, to validate their feelings and opinions. I was a strong-willed kid and still am as an adult. It's a trait that has always served me well in life! (well not so much as a kid but....) Seriously, if it's not morally wrong, then let her do what she wants. I think we have a problem of too many people following the crowd not too many independent thinkers in our culture. So define your values (in our family these are things like kindness to earth people and animals; doing our best etc - big picture things, not rules) and stand strong on them, but then don't battle the other things that don't really matter. A value's driven kid who knows what she wants is a beautiful thing!

Also helpful to ask "How can I be on the same side as her here?" rather than making things into a battle of the wills. Find the common ground. Hope those ideas help!

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Teresa · 617 weeks ago

When I think of you I don't think "sheep" at all. I think of someone who is willing to be a light and show the world a different and beautiful way to live. I was a very weak willed child. The slightest glance of disapproval would melt me to a puddle. I always wished for and admired those who were stronger. My LO is much stronger willed than I was and I rejoice in her strength. My prayer is that she will one day use her strength to stand up for right in a world that can be so wrong. Here are some books that are so helpful to me in trying to figure out this parenting thing.

***Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families*** My favorite ideas of His are -First seek to understand, then to be understood and -develop a family mission statement and refer to it often.

***Children are from Heaven*** Although I'm not a fan of his endorsement for timeouts. He as a lot of really helpful ideas. The one I use all the time is to model the language you want your child to say. For example if LO say "give it to me now!" I simply say " Mommy, can I please use it?" and then I respond as if she had said it the right way "sure, honey" or "not just yet". I love this because it teaches the correct way to say things while completely avoiding any power struggle

***The Five Love Languages of Children*** This one is fantastic. The idea is that unless a child's "love tank" is full, getting them to do anything is like swimming upstream. He then explains each love language and specific ways to express them to children.

***The Life you Were Born To Live*** This one was referred to me by my sister and frankly I thought she had gone off the deep end as it uses numerology (but unlike most numerology books it does not attempt to predict the future but only to aid in self awareness) Honestly I only figured out my numbers and read correlating info to make fun of it, but I was floored instead. What I read was spot on and it helped me deeply understand myself and core issues. Best of all It helped me to work through some deep deep issues I have stuggled against all my life. I have since then read up on my LO, and It is a comfort to know where she is coming from and how to best help her on her path.

Thank you so much for your blog. Lots of prayers and Love your way!

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lori · 617 weeks ago

i love your photos nicole. and a shrew!! i want to see one now!

try not to worry too much mama. you are cut out and you won't let her down. just keep being the deeply loving
person that you are. xxoo

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Page · 616 weeks ago

Hi I'm a new fan and I've never commented but felt the need to post on this one. If I remember correctly from my child development classes, childrens sadness comes out in anger and defiance. I think as you deeply feel your own loss (with this move) maybe just simply allowing her to be right in the muck of where she is feeling is all (all of you) can do and not take each others "acting out" that sadness, personally.

Good luck, this sucks, but I'm a fan of yours and how you've built your life because you seem to intuitively know how to build a nest of love and peace and stability. But I know all too well how I lose my way when waves get rough. A great book, "The Spirituality of Imperfection". I think you might get something out of it.

Keep doing your thing, grieve your losses together, albeit differently, trust, breathe, be kind, ....it always works out...let go...

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Thank you for joining me here. My name is Nicole Spring AKA wife, Waldorf homeschooling Mama to four sweet little ones, homemaker of the radical kind, knitter, cook, seamstress, student of life as well as my children, crafter, girl of all trades... and always with a camera in hand to document our days so we may look back at these glorious yet exhausting times.

I enjoy hearing from you and would love it so much if you wouldn't mind taking the time to leave a comment. They mean so much to me (honestly, they make my day!). I appreciate not only seeing all that you have to say but also being blessed to get to know you better. If you ask a question please check back here for my response. I try my hardest to respond quickly. Thank you so much!!