Frontier Dreams: Thief of Joy

Monday, July 31, 2017

Thief of Joy

can you guess L's fav game at the fun festival?

After last Sunday's post, I mentioned on Instagram that I was in a funk and just couldn't get out of it. Well, I admit I am still slightly in my personal pit of despair (a little bit of Princess Bride, if you will) but I can see the top and am making my way out of it. They say comparison is the thief of joy, and I fully agree but how does one stop comparing when you are stuck in a moment? I try my best, and most of the time I am content but there are just some days when I lose control and wallow in self pity. Especially since the move here. I really do not like those days, I know that isn't the real me. But a compassionate voice reminded me to stop and see all the blessings I take for granted when I have one of those days (or weeks). I stopped what I was doing and saw the bigger picture again - the one I usually see but had lost sight of. Now to just keep that momentum going.

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Mihaela Froehlich · 401 weeks ago

My dear friend, I too have spend much of my time in this same pit. There is a latin saying which says "Comparisons are odious." Through life's circumstances the bubble I lived in, got accustomed to and which led me to the pit was burst and I found myself surrounded with people from different walks of life, many whose struggles were so much greater than my own, and some of them who still managed to be content even in the most difficult of situations. I cannot say that it happened over night, but change grew in me, and I am now at a place where I can honestly say, if ever hard moments come, my first is to seek the gratitude for what I have. I know that it does not help just saying "there are those who are worse off." It did not help me, until I met and became close friends with those who are worse off. My ability to, in my moments of despair, be able to help someone who was in a greater need than myself, was giving me the living proof that I have all I need.

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Stephanie · 401 weeks ago

I'm fighting the same battle Nicole. I know nothing, but I can encourage you with what has been an encouragement to me. In God's word it has helped me where it says in Hebrews 13:5 about "being content with the things that you have." That wasn't what I wanted to hear at first, but I'm learning that sometimes what I want is not what I need at the time. Certain situations I'm in are given to me right now so that I can gain something in my inner self that will last for eternity and never be taken away. So even though I don't want a leaky roof, a small backyard, and low income - I CHOOSE to believe God's word even though nothing has changed. And then when or if God does change it, I'll have a better house AND something inside that's worth more than gold. Sometimes we're thankful and other times, it's a fight to be thankful. But "He gives power to the weak..." Be encouraged Nicole!! Take Care.

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Julie · 401 weeks ago

Maybe try supplementing magnesium and a vitamin b complex? I personally have had issues with nutrient deficiencies causing depression.

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laurelmountainmama 16p · 401 weeks ago

I often find myself in the same pit when I start comparing myself to those around me, in real life and online. I let myself wallow for a bit, because sometimes I come out the other side with really great ideas on how to improve my own situation, but it doesn't do anyone any good to wallow long. Usually what snaps me out of it is giving myself a reality check. I live in a mid-century ranch home in western Pa. It does me no good to compare my life with yours, because what do I get out of spending my days wishing I lived by the ocean?
I won't lie, I wallowed a LONG time over the chalkboard wall in your last home. Every time I walked by the wall I wanted to paint with chalkboard paint, I'd get so upset over our plaster walls. Who ever thought textured walls were a good idea?! The wallowing made me reflect on the fact that even if I had smooth walls, it would cost me just as much to paint my wall versus buying a chalkboard, and hanging a chalkboard would be less work :-)
Same goes for so much in my life - I'd love to have a bigger house, but would I regret losing the closeness our family has? Would it do me any good mentally to have to fight against the stuff that would accumulate so much easier in more spacious surroundings?
In any case, it will pass. Sometimes it takes more time or more work, but you'll come through it.

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Karen · 401 weeks ago

Hope you are feeling better. B vitamins are good for helping your mood. Really wanted to say how precious are the pics of big sister with baby.

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kja1130 58p · 401 weeks ago

I got jealous of a dear friend whose adult daughter is three hours away and is moving to the SAME TOWN. My daughter is on the west coast and I"m on the east coast. I hate feeling so jealous and try to squelch those feelings. I think we can always look around and find something we want or wish for and maybe miss the blessings. You have such beautiful kids and live in a gorgeous area.

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Bird Girl · 401 weeks ago

Boy, do I hear you! We have family members who are always traveling; they make much more than we do, and rely on the public schools for all their kids' educations, and so they have much more disposable income. Hearing about all the places they are taking their kids is quite hard for me. But I've made my choices--and they are more in line with my priorities. Still, it's hard to keep your eyes on your own garden, so to speak, and not look on the green, green grass next door.

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Sara · 401 weeks ago

It's good you can stop and see the bigger picture. Many of my friends fall victim to the same thinking, but " I say take a break from social media/ or comparing and look out on the broader scope of women who live on this planet". Plus I like what KIm John Payne says in Simplicity Parenting about Parenthood has become a competition. Anyway, I hope you are well, and it sounds like you know what you need and how to do it.

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Heathermama7 · 401 weeks ago

Thank you for always being so real. This whole life business is freaking hard. I've been in a spot now for... months?? I'm crawling out, slowly. It's hard work. You are amazing!

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Carol · 400 weeks ago

So sorry that you are in such a funk about where you are. The scenery in your photos is beautiful and I hope that you are able to enjoy some of that.

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amothershares 33p · 400 weeks ago

I do hope you are feeling better and managing to find the positive in your current situation. There is always something to be grateful for. It's natural to feel this way from time to time, especially if you are keen to put down roots and feel settled (the easiest way to manage family life!). The Buddhists say that attachment is the greatest enemy of peace of mind. If we are attached to our vision of how life should be or how we would like it to be, we can suffer greatly if it isn't so. Accepting the reality as it is is our only option for peace of mind, but sometimes it can be such a challenge. Another wise philosopher/spiritualist Manly Hall wrote that " what we focus on becomes our reality, but if we cease to focus on something it ceases to exist " - maybe not his exact words, but you get the gist :-) So we need to focus on the good as much as possible in order to create a better reality. Just a few thoughts. Hope you turn things around soon Anna ps I wrote you an email incase you think it's spam!

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Katja · 399 weeks ago

Dear Nicole, sending a great big warm hug across the ocean - may the waves calm your mind and send you and your loved ones the energy and ability to keep moving, like the sharks, never to stand still but to keep going even if through murky waters at times. Believe in your strength and know that you are loved!

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