Monday, April 15, 2013

A time to compromise

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Thank you so much for your support and understanding on my last post. I am so very grateful for all of you and your unending kindness.  As promised, here is part two of K's story...

K woke up the next day and pushed her pillow aside to find her gifts from the tooth fairy. Now, I am a firm believer in simplicity and "less is more," but after seeing K go through the ordeal of getting her teeth pulled I decided to let that slide a bit. I think the tooth fairy could make special exceptions for children having to go through getting teeth pulled, don't you? So, she found some golden dollar coins, a little pouch filled with rainbow crystals and gems, a rainbow pen, and rainbow butterfly tattoos. Lots of rainbow treasures, huh? Perhaps I should explain the reason for that.

A couple of months ago K came home from school telling me all about how she played "tooth fairies" with her friends that day. She informed me that everyone has their own tooth fairy. Her tooth fairy was named Avelyn and she was a rainbow fairy. K loved the idea of her and spoke of her pretty much every day since then. She drew many pictures of Avelyn and left presents and notes for her in her tooth fairy home at school. When she found out that her teeth were finally getting pulled she excitedly said, "That means Avelyn will bring me gifts! I bet they will all be rainbow things since she is the rainbow fairy." I decided to go with that and got her the coins and then the pouch with the rainbow crystals and gems (the other items ended up getting added to that when we stopped at a store on the way home from the dentist).

When we picked K up from school that day, C quite excitedly told K that we went grocery shopping and the "hard head dolls" (translation: your typical plastic baby doll) they had been wanting were on sale. K asked how much they were and C told her (I forget exactly how much now, but they were around a couple of dollars). I saw K's thinking cap go on. She pulled me aside and asked if we could stop on the way home because she really wanted to use her tooth fairy money to buy C one of those dolls for her birthday. As you might remember, I prefer to keep plastic out of our home. I am not saying that is something everyone should do, but it's just something I feel the need to do in my own home. The girls have been asking for "hard head dolls" since we moved here (some of their friends have them and my girls love to play with them when over at their homes). I had been able to redirect them on the topic up until this point. I had to stop and really think it over. K was showing how big her heart is and wanting to do something incredibly sweet for her little sister - how could I deny her?! Her willingness to put someone else first is something to embrace and cultivate, I couldn't put our ideals in front of love. I could see this was a time to compromise and let K show her love for C the way she wanted to (but that doesn't mean that any other plastic things will be coming into our home *ahem*!).

We stopped at the store and K led C down the doll aisle. She asked C which one was her favorite and when C picked it out, K asked to hold it. K was getting ready to leave when I whispered in her ear that she could pick one out for herself too, and that I would pay the difference. K smiled, grabbed one, and went to the register and paid for them. She then handed C hers and said, "Happy birthday C! This is an early birthday present from me. I couldn't wait until your birthday to give it to you." Then she gave C a hug and C hugged her back so tight I thought she was going to knock her over. I wish I could have captured the look on C's face. It looked a bit similar to the first photo in this post, but even happier. I hope that my girls always stay so close and consider each other "best friends."

Boy, what a remarkably full couple of days those were for all of us! Lessons learned, lots of growth
(both inside and outside) and deeper love cultivated. Phew! I hope that all made sense. I really need to stop trying to post so late at night!

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I so thoroughly enjoyed this story! Your girls are beautiful (inside & out) Thank you for sharing!
Such a sweet story!! What lovely girls you are raising...
Nicole that was a wonderful story. I think you did just exactly the right thing! Last year my mom bought my little girl a "hard head baby". at first I was appalled! I mean I am a doll maker, for pete's sake! I have made all of Claire's beautiful natural Waldorf dolls that are filled wool and so much Mama's love, and now this...?! But then I saw how much Claire loved her new baby, and that didn't mean she played any less with her dolls I had made, she just loved the new one too. Being a mama takes just as much stretching, growing and learning as being a child!
You are such a good mother, Nicole! I learn from you every time I visit your blog! :)
What a lovely story, and what a generous sweet heart your K has! Good for you for being able to make compromises that make your children into the people they are supposed to be. We made a similar compromise with Legos several years ago, and it's one I would make again. My kids can be so creative with those little plastic bricks. :)
1 reply · active 624 weeks ago
Joy,
Everytime I hear of a family that has decided to forgo plastic the only toy that I would mourn their child's loss of is legos. Not the sets that are just models but a big ole box of legos. They are the one toy that all 5 of my kids will play with together peacefully for hours with.
What a lovely heart your girl has! Made my own heart swell as I read your blog this morning. I have two girls too (age 3.5 and 1) and I hope they too are best friends (just like my sister and I)!

I loved the way you put "K was showing how big her heart is and wanting to do something incredibly sweet for her little sister - how could I deny her?! Her willingness to put someone else first is something to embrace and cultivate, I couldn't put our ideals in front of love.". I think I've (unintentionally) hurt or insulted some members of my family as my husband and I work to figure out what our ideals are, and this was a good reminder to me "I couldn't put our ideals in front of love" - there are times to put our foot down, and there are other times to compromise and let things go...

Thank you again!
I love it!!! Good job finding a balance between their needs and yours. I'm inspired :-)
I admire the way you know when to stand firm and when to bend, using your wisdom and love to guide your decision.
I had tears in my eyes as I read this post - how dear. Children really have no filters - their love just naturally shines through. And the obvious love of these dollies is just an extension of that - even if they are plastic!
What a sweet girl K is! I was also just wondering how C knew they were on sale and how much they are... is she learning to read with you at home? I have a little girl about C's age and I can't imaging her noticing prices etc so I'm just curious! :) x
2 replies · active 624 weeks ago
Hey Kathy,
I know what you mean, that seems a bit out there.C isn't learning to read yet, but K is learning a bit of math in school right now so C has picked up numbers from her. It amazes me just how much she picks up from her big sister!
I think she only noticed that they were on sale because our grocery store puts up these HUGE bright yellow signs next to an item's price whenever anything goes on sale, so it was hard to miss, ha,ha.
Ha ha, yes... stores really know how to advertise a sale!! :) x
Awww what a gorgeous big sister! Such a beautiful heart and act of kindness. We avoid plastic too (and have to constantly "lose" plastic head babies that well-meaning family members send home with us). The look of joy on your girls faces is totally worth the compromise, especially when it comes as a gift from big sister's heart. LOVE the rainbow tooth fairy story, so cute.
Such a sweet story! It is great that you gave them the opportunity to experience this. And the dolls are quite cute - something to sew or knit for. :-)
this post made me smile. "hard head dolls" ...very sweet.
I loved this story! We too try to shy away from hard head dolls but it is hard. My girls have always had one, but I have learned an interesting lesson from them. This past year I made them each their own dolls, which they loved instantly and sleep with every night. They have never slept with the hard head dolls. My oldest, who is 6, told me she loves the doll I made because she can sleep with it, but she can't sleep with a hard head doll because they are too uncomfortable. I see them take much better care of the homemade doll without direction from me, they just know to treat it special. My 6 year old also told me al she wants for presents this year are homemade dolls. I think we try so hard to keep plastic and cheap things from them, but sometimes I wonder how they will know for themselves that they are poor quality if we don't give them a chance to play with them. The proof is in the pudding as they say, and even young kids are wise enough to know the difference. My girls still like and play with their hard head dolls, but they LOVE their homemade dolls. Keep on keeping on Nicole! You are doing an awesome job with those girls, and boy!
Oh my goodness! That warmed my heart so!!!
What a great story! K is such a wonderful big sister, and C is learning how to love by the best example. Good for you to bend your standards when you saw it was really for the best.
Wonderful! X
What a wonderfully sweet story, and I think you were absolutely right - love is sometimes more important than our rules :)

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