Thursday, March 1, 2012

small dreams and blogging

You may have noticed that my posts have been pretty irregular lately. There have been a few reasons for this the past couple of months - holidays, birthdays, and deadlines are some of them, being in a bit of a blogging rut is another but I have also felt the need to take the time to be more present with my family and my life, to focus more on the art of mothering and housekeeping. My God, I am a horrible housekeeper. I feel so overwhelmed every time I look around this house. I can't handle it... and the fur tumbleweeds all over... One of our cats was almost sent packing a week or two ago because I just can not keep up with her and her 'food stealing, peeing on our organic wool comforter, biting and attacking' ways.
At 2,000 square feet this house is just too big for our family of 5 (+7 animals). Perhaps if we had the time or money to fix up this 'falling apart around us' place (I can't even call a home), I might be feeling better but for as long as we live in this area of Oregon, it just won't ever change. I am too ashamed and embarrassed to have people come over to our house and this is really hindering our social time that we (ok, really it's me) so badly need. We are hoping to maybe try to put the house on the market this summer and move into a teeny, tiny, simple home. What we dream of is a little one room log cabin but with a second story for the bedrooms (I kid you not). That is a dream to me, even with our desires for a large family. I just need a small space and love the idea of us all being close. Granted my two girls are fighting like cats and dogs lately, but that's something for another time.

K's interpretation of our dream home - a one room cabin with one person sleeping in bed and the other cooking at the wood stove, and a tree inside 'just because'.

I felt the need to take this pressure off of myself of needing to take pictures by a certain day or spending the day not noticing things my wonderful children do, due to being self absorbed in thoughts on what I should post about tonight. I was allowing myself to become stressed out over blogging - which is ridiculous. This is meant to be an outlet and a way to reach out.
I didn't like how much time I was spending on the computer instead of focusing on the beauty around me and tasks at hand that needed attending to (I wish I was one of those people that could whip up a post in minutes but by the time I upload my pictures and type up what's on my mind - with at least 3 interruptions from Baby L, the girls, our cats and/or our dogs - it's been at least an hour).

There have been two really great rather recent posts on blogging and what is has turned into as of late. These were both pretty spot on with what I have been feeling lately. If you have the time, please check them out. One of them is from my friend Kyrie who always speaks so eloquently from her heart and the other is this post from Buttons Magee.

I hope I didn't come across too dark and dismal as that isn't the case at all. I just thought maybe I should shed some light as to where I have been at. I think it's just a big old rut and it soon shall pass. Thanks for taking the time to read this and for your continued kind words and thoughts. Love to you all!

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