Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Rhythm In Our Home : What This Mama Needs

Ok, I am hoping this post will be less controversial than my last post...



As much as I love being a Mama to my three little ones, and everything about this role I have in life - it is exhausting! K's teacher once asked me in all seriousness - what am I doing for myself every day? She reminded me that I need that balance. I put all of myself into my children and I wouldn't have it any other way but in order to be able to do this I need something of my own to keep me going. Actually, some things...

There is, of course, my nightly rhythm of posting on the blog and knitting (sometimes sewing). My blog posts help me to digest and reflect upon our days. It's therapeutic, like journaling. Knitting helps to keep me calm and focused, not to mention sane. I will occasionally knit during the day, as well, but since Baby L started teething that hasn't been happening quite as often as I would like. Um, I do however knit while walking into school to pick K up, and in the van at the gas station...any free moment I can find (obsessed much?). I try to at least do a few stitches every night before bed to prepare my mind for the transition to sleep.

The biggest thing I need to keep myself going is my morning run. I have been into running on and off since my early twenties. My best memories of running are from when I lived in California. I used to run the trails in the mountains (often times with the little boy I nannied on my back) or along side the ocean. I trained for triathlons with my friends Wilson and Maloose. Such great, great times. I never did enter a triathlon, but I do still have that dream. My goal was to complete an Ironman race (Ha!), but as my body is getting older, I will be happy finishing any triathlon.



It wasn't until last summer that I really started to take running more seriously. My friend Marina helped with that motivation, she is always such an inspiration. I started out doing it to lose my baby weight and to get back in enough shape to keep up with my little ones but then I noticed a change in me. I was different. My spirits we lifted and I would feel at peace and optimistic no matter what the day threw at me. The days I would run were the days I was able to allow myself to be more present with my children. They were the days I could make lists and actually complete the things on those lists. Oh yes, the simple act of waking up and putting on my running shoes changed everything for me (and I am not even a morning person!).

It is a form of meditation. I no longer run for weight loss or for my physical health (although those things are a big plus!), but for the rhythm of it and my mental well being. My morning run is like a morning cup of coffee. It's what I need to start my day. If I do not get that start, I just can not function throughout the day. I become irritable, have little patience, can't think straight nor function properly.



This may sound strange but I run in a cemetery by our house. It's the only area within walking distance that has semi-flat roads on our mountain. I felt uneasy about it at first (and my childhood fears will probably keep me from running there Halloween morning), but now I am grateful for it. It makes my mind slow down as I run and reminds me to savor every breathe I take while I am on this earth. Some days I am deep in thought as I run and then other days I am motivated by music (I had to break out some Smashing Pumpkins this week thanks to my friend sending me this picture).

I have mentioned before that I can be a bit of an extremist and that includes my running, too. I am only at about 3 miles a day but I have to do it 6 days a week. If I take days off I fall back into my slump and actually have a hard time getting back into running the next day I try to. On the other hand, if I don't take one day off a week I feel my body become tired and sore and then I start to make excuses in my head to not run, resulting in me missing days at a time. It's all about balance and what I personally need.

During the summer keeping up with my running rhythm was easy. Kevin would wake me up at about 6:30 every day and I would run while the children slept and come back just before he left for work. When school began my rhythm was thrown off. The girls wake up at 6:30 on school days and I have a busy morning preparing us all to get out the door. Not to mention that autumn was on it's way and father sun was waking up later and later each morning. I missed many, many days of running in September, October too. Missing those runs caused my days to be off. I was late getting K to school pretty much every single day, and I needed at least two cups of coffee to keep myself going. You can imagine how quickly I wore myself down.



Then, a couple of weeks ago, Kevin and I adjusted our morning schedules and I got my morning run back. I am as happy as can be and so ready to take on my days. It is a bit of an adjustment waking at 5:30 and running in pitch blackness but it's worth it. (I do need to look into some reflection gear, though.) My faithful running partner Nara is by my side to keep me going and for my protection, so I feel safe. It does take me a lap or so to let my eyes adjust and not fear tripping but then after that it's smooth sailing.

I run my laps and come back home to shower. I feel full and ready for the day. I enter my girls' room and, for a moment, observe their sweet, blissful sleep before waking them. They open their sleepy eyes and smile at me. I melt and feel such comfort in knowing that the rest of the day I am theirs.

Please remember - this is just our family rhythm and what works for us at the moment. This isn't meant to be hard and fast rules on how rhythm should go in every one or any one's homes. I just thought to share it because I receive quite a few e-mails asking about our home rhythm, and I also just wanted it documented for myself so that I may remember these times when they are older and/or on to another rhythm.

Thank you, again, for joining me in the rhythm fun! Here is the linky list. If you have a (new or old) link you would like to share about your family rhythm, please enter it below so that we all may see. Then please link back here in your post. I look forward to seeing your inspiration!
Thanks friends!


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Comments (23)

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It's true, what K. 's teacher said. I'm a mother of five and without any time and/or space for myself it would be much harder to keep going in a good mood. And even with that time and space it's hard to be a good mother all day long.
Very recognizable knitting during each free minute, I do the same with crocheting or sewing felt-things.
Just finished reading this post and your last post, boy that last one did get a number of passionate responses, I too would need awhile to digest it all. Words are indeed powerful :) Your running location looks beautiful, due to very bad joints since I was very young running isn't something I can do, but I so love getting out for lovely walks, and just did a post about our families outing to a beautiful Pioneer cemetery. Your Dog Nara, looks like an amazing companion, my old faithful girl is a black lab mixed with Shepard and has a similar build to your dog- I just love dogs!! Very nice post, I enjoyed reading it, and your pictures are beautiful!
1 reply · active 702 weeks ago
Thank you, April. I still am digesting that post...almost a week later! I do like to see the history in old cemeteries. The one I run in has some of the original Oregon Trail pioneers.
It feels so good to be in the rhythm of running. I'm out of it right now, and it is such a wall to climb over to get me back in it!
What a lovely post! I have been running too for about 10 years and I've just entered to do a 10 mile race this Sunday - scary! I too used to do it for health/figure though these days I just having that 'me' time to clear my head and be alone with my thoughts, without the distraction of childcare or washing up! Thanks for sharing your lovely post!
1 reply · active 702 weeks ago
Oh I wish you the best of luck!!
Running through a cemetary is not so bad. Where my sister lives they have a beautiful cemetary and they plant flowers and have little "coves" with benches that look at the pond. People run, ski, walk, bike through there all the time for fitness etc. It's a great safe place(read few cars) to take your kids to learn to ride a bike or scooter. As odd as it may seem, ALOT of people have their wedding pictures taken there. It is absolutely beautiful!! It's probably pretty difficult to imagine, but it's like a beautifully maintained park within the cemetary. It also links up to a trail that has a fit strip. It is highly used and not thought of as odd to do so.
I get up at 4:30-5:30 AM to get my workout in. I too have difficulty getting back on schedule if I skip a day. I also, do 6 days of exercise ane one day of rest. I really had to have a talk with myself about skipping workout for whatever reason, and then feel that I have to wait until a monday to start up again. Exercising just starts my morning off right and am able to usually handle most things with grace.
Mama time... so very important but so often overlooked and neglected. I am very guilty of not taking time for myself and when I really let it go on too long I really start to feel it and it affects my parenting. My one thing I *try* to be constant about is getting up at 4:30, which, I know, sounds more like punishment than something good for me. But I really need that time up before everyone, getting a head start and having time time to knit and blog and maybe read. If I can get to bed by 10 every night than this early morning is actually very refreshing. Now, whether my littlest will let me out of bed on my own, is often another story.
I have a hard trying to fit Mama time in. I only have 1 child and sometimes it makes me feel like I shouldn't be wanting "ME" time, but I justify that even if it's just 1 child I still need that time. So far school is the only me time I get. I would ride my bike in the morning, but my husband works very early in the morning and I can't leave my daughter alone in the house. And I can't take a ride at night as I am in school.
1 reply · active 702 weeks ago
No matter how many children we have, we all need ME time. Heck, even if we didn't have children. It's such food for our soul. I think you should want and get your me time! XO
As a parent coach that is nearly always one of my first questions for my clients - what fuels you?- it's a tough one for most mamas to answer! We often feel that just by doing our all for our children it should enough for us. I encourage my clients to play around and find things that speak to their soul and well-being. I have to be very mindful to take my own advice sometimes! Isn't that the way? :)
Nicole, your running post is so inspiring.For some reason I have always wanted to be "a runner". As a HS and home based business owner and mama to 8 I can envision this time being so peaceful, a great time for thinking (without being interrupted), praying and preparing for a beautiful day.
I think I will really give this a go. Thanks.
1 reply · active 702 weeks ago
Yay, Pamela! I have always wanted to be a runner, too. I still don't know if I would consider myself one or not (I feel like I would have to be running more or something), but it is something I have strived for since HS, too :)
Pamela I am right with you. I have always wanted to be a runner but ugh...the thought of it just...YUCK! But I too love feeling refreshed after an early start to my morning and a run may be just the ticket!
Oh I so know what you mean - both about the runner's high/calm, and keeping motivated. I'm very much an "all-or-nothing" person (truly one of my greatest faults)...if I can't run every day, then I don't run at all. So ridiculous! Of course, until now it wasn't an option due to scheduling and such. But now, I really have no excuse...I could run directly from work to pick up my boy from school every day of the week (there's just the right about of time & distance to do it). BUT...I'm terrified. Talk about bodily changes...50 pounds and 5 years! Yes. I'm scared for a reason. But, keep the inspiration coming (both you and sweet Marina) and maybe I'll bust out those shoes again! So very happy that you've been able to!!
1 reply · active 702 weeks ago
I talked to Marina today :) We discussed running together and races.... I think we need to get you in on this ;)
LOVE smashing pumpkins!! ..and you :)
I think you are inspiring me!
I would love to know what time you go to bed.
I am having a hard time finding the right timing to my day/night.
1 reply · active 702 weeks ago
My ideal time for bed is 10:30 at the latest but I tend to go over that more than I would like. Then I have a rough time the next day.
It is so important to do something for yourself each day. Motherhood is exhausting, but yes so rewarding! Hosting a giveaway on my blog this week. Hope you stop by!
Doing yoga has been great for me, especially Bikram style. I get to do it 3 times a week and when I do I feel great. The heat feels so good and I feel like I get to detox my body and rid myself of toxic emotions and thoughts. It's also made me feel more conscious of my posture and the time I spend sitting. I do however think it would be good for me to do more exercise outside, especially since I found out recently that my Vitamin D levels are low. I'm glad that getting a morning run is so important to your rhythm...now I know your secret ;) *hugs*
1 reply · active 702 weeks ago
You know, I need to get back into yoga... it's been years! I think the last time I did it seriously was in South Korea...
Good for you for taking time for you! I always say me time makes me a much better Mama! x

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