Baby L has outgrown his sweet moses basket - not by weight or height, by any means, but due to his wiggly rolling behavior. We mostly used it for taking pictures of him, as a matter of fact, I do believe the cats got more use out of it than he did. Yet there is just something so sentimental about it. I enjoy walking past and seeing it there looking all snug and warm and cozy, waiting for a baby to be placed in it.
Many thoughts raced through my mind today as I decided it was time to pack it away - thoughts about my family, our lives and how everything feels. When I think back to my life before my children it just feels so empty now, they really make life complete for me.
Kevin tells me every now and then how he thinks about the day our home is empty and it's just the two of us. I do understand where he is coming from, we haven't had time alone together in years and I mean real time together - not doing housework, grooming the dogs or making lists for the next day - just the two of us, one on one, being able to talk without interruptions.
I, too, sometimes miss our time, yet I also love our time together as a family almost even more. I see my husband in a different way since we had little ones but it's such a deeper way, filled with even more love.
The thought of an empty home to me is scary and well, just so empty feeling.
I can not fathom no longer hearing sweet little voices singing, baby giggles, little footsteps down the hall and yes, even dealing with those messes, tantrums and interruptions (like I just had a few minutes ago as I was typing this - K woke up and needed a band aid shrug I think she dreamt she got a cut or something...) Even those moments when I am pulling my hair out (oh boy, at least once a day!) and begging Kevin to take the little ones even just for a half hour so I can have some time alone and regroup - I would take those any day over being in a home with out children.
I started thinking, too, about how our family may grow. I have always wanted a big family - will that happen for us? I guess that is not really in our hands and we will just have to wait and see.
So much to think about from just putting away a simple basket. You would think I had too much free time!
I forgot to add that Baby L has his next specialist appointment this weekend for his Horner's Syndrome. This should be a simple, non-invasive appointment but if you could think some good thoughts or say a little prayer for him we would truly appreciate it.
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