Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Rhythm In Our Home : Bedtime Rhythm

Thank you so much for your kindness and wisdom on yesterday's post. I hope I didn't come across like I was throwing a pity party. I didn't mean to, if I did. I am so grateful for my family and the life we have together. I love taking care of and serving my family, and wouldn't want it any other way. But um, the cake eating thing...yeah I need to get that under control pronto!
It made me sad to see that I am not alone in 'family forgetfulness'. I wish I could celebrate all of your birthdays for you, too - you all deserve so much!
Mama Forestdweller brought up an excellent point :
"Also, it seems that celebrating holidays, birthdays, festivals is a social event - it's something we learn to do by being included- we need to be shown, it seems...and some people (husbands, ahem!) have to learn a lot later in life, which is unfortunate. This makes me realize how important it is that you have been modeling seasonal and birthday celebrations with your children all along".
I didn't really think of that but it makes so much sense! It reminds me of how important it is to include all my children in our preparations for holidays and whatnot, even Baby L. Thank you!




I have been a bit hesitant to post our nighttime rhythm as it has been changing quite a bit these past few months. I thought we had it back down a couple of weeks ago and then it changed again. You see, how our nighttime rhythm goes really depends on C. I mentioned before that C is still nursing and she has been nursing to sleep at night. That meant that K had to be with Baby L for about 5 - 10 minutes (safely on our king sized bed) while I got C down (Kevin isn't home from work until way past their bedtime), then I would tuck K in and get Baby L to sleep. But little miss C has changed it up a bit to fit her needs better. I think this new rhythm is working well for us, too, so I guess she knows what we all need!
You can find an overview of our old nighttime rhythm (from two years ago) here.

I will go ahead and lay all the cards on the table by telling you that our children have an early bedtime. I was surprised to find that bedtimes are a controversial subject, although I really don't see why this is. Anyways, the girls are tucked in bed by 6:30, and Baby L is usually asleep by 7:30/8:00. While I strongly believe that our children need this early bedtime (as I need them to have it so I have time to wind down and prepare for the next day), I am not saying this is for everyone. It's just what works for us. We have found that if the girls don't go to bed around that time they are cranky and out of sorts the next day.



After our dinner and dishes are done I sing this song as I hold Baby L and walk towards the bathroom:

Brush, brush, brush your teeth
Brush them everyday ohhhhhh
Brush, brush, brush your teeth
Before you go out to play

Brush them even longer now
Brush in little circles now

Brush, brush, brush your teeth
Brush them everyday
- Mary Thienes Schunemann : This Is the Way We Wash a Day






Both of my girls will come and follow me with their special stools their cousins made for them. We then all brush our teeth together, since children learn by imitation this helps them to brush their teeth properly. Then the girls clean their faces and hands (which are always dirty from dinner) and we walk to their bedroom. There they get on their nightgowns and put their slippers in their homes for the night, while I nurse Baby L and get him changed and into his sleepy sack.



We then light our bedtime candle, sit on their bed and sing our two angel songs. It's such a special moment for me. For a long time I sang those songs while they would sit and listen but now both of them join in.

After our songs are done we do our moon is round verse. I do this to them individually. It helps to calm them down and relax them.

The moon is round, (I softly circle their face with my fingertip)
The moon is round, (same as above)
It has two eyes, (I gently touch their eyelids with my fingertip)
But knows, (I run my fingertip from their eyes down their nose)
No sound (I circle their lips with my fingertip)




After this, depending on how the day went and the girls' moods, I will either tell a story or read from a book. The past few nights we have been reading a couple of pages at a time of Little House in the Big Woods. While I am reading, K holds Baby L and I nurse C.



After the story is through, we all say our good nights and give hugs and kisses. K was noticing her purple blackberry fingers as she was hugging Baby L goodnight in the picture above.



By now a kitty or two has joined us and will stay with the girls in their room until later in the evening when I come back upstairs to go to bed myself .



I turn on their night light (which was made by my friend Fiona and is actually supposed to be my baby mooning nightlight, but I am sharing it, for now...), turn off their lights and with Baby L in my arms, I blow them kisses as I walk out the door. With this new rhythm they do stay up a bit and play in bed together but usually not for too long.



When I come up to let the kitties out of their room I love to see how the girls fell asleep. Most nights they are cuddled close, sleeping in all kinds of funny positions.

I hope I didn't 'say' too much this time around. Nighttime is one of those rhythms that are hard to put into words and cram into a single post.
Oh and please remember - this is just our family rhythm and what works for us at the moment. This isn't meant to be hard and fast rules on how rhythm should go in every one or any one's homes. I just thought to share it because I receive quite a few e-mails asking about our home rhythm, and I also just wanted it documented for me to remember when they are older and on to another rhythm.

Thank you, again, for joining me in the rhythm fun! Here is the linky list. If you have a (new or old) link you would like to share about your family rhythm, please enter it below so that we all may see. Then please link back here in your post. I look forward to seeing your inspiration!
Thanks friends!



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Comments (50)

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what a beautiful bedtime rhythm. Its so adorable that your girls share a bed, what fun for them! the night light is lovely
Very sweet! I love reading your rhythm posts. Our rhythm this summer has been all sorts of wonky with so much travel and camp, etc. Elizabeth starts school tomorrow and the older boys next week so I'm trusting that we'll slip back into our fall/winter/spring rhythm again soon. xoxo
I love this Nicole. Such a sweet way to send them off for the night! Our kids also have early bedtimes (it used to be 7, but now has been pushed back to 7:30 since they are a bit older). Like you said, it works for our family. My kids are up "with the sun" so if they aren't in bed early, the day is a mess! Now, an aside question, how did you get your nightime pictures to turn out??? (specifically, what technique/settings, flash/no flash, etc.). I LOVE the one of your girls in the bathroom. K looks very grown up (she is a few months older than my third born and my friends have been commenting how grown up he is looking, have you been finding the same?). Be back later when I post our morning rhythm! <3
1 reply · active 710 weeks ago
Thank you for the rhythm posts!! We have just moved across the country and are in desperate need to get into our new rhythm, this really helps!
This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing, I will have to add the moon rhyme to our routine. I have left a link to our daily rhythm chart and some details although this was about 4-5 months ago and now my baby is one and my boy is almost 3 so things have changed a little bit, but a lot of the day has stayed similar. xo m.
Just posted the link to our summer morning rhythm!
I love this, it makes me feel closer to, and now that I have heard their sweet little voices too...
Oh yes, the funny sleeping positions, it's quite entertaining!
Our girls still have early bedtime, always around 7:00, except once in a while in the summer when we have special "late summer evenings". Chloe stays up reading in bed though, sometimes until very late! I think this is okay for her (I know that's exactly what I was doing at 11 years old..) It is Chessa that I feel the early sleep is most important, she needs it, and she wants it, she has always been good at falling asleep. (Unlike nurse nurse nurse all night long Chloe...)
Those little feet on the stool (and dangling above) are so adorable!
XOXO
liebchenhut's avatar

liebchenhut · 711 weeks ago

The moon night light...how can I make one?
3 replies · active 709 weeks ago
I wrote down the teeth brushing verse just now and put it to use this morning! The kids were cranky and bickering 5 mins ago and now they seem more calm just by transitioning smoothly and giving them more direction. YOU ARE AWESOME! Thank you again for these posts, they are helping me so very much. =)
1 reply · active 710 weeks ago
Sleeping littles are so sweet!
We are an early bedtime family, too (6 or 6:30). It makes some social and family obligations a challenge, but it is what works best for my daughter. Plus, I really enjoy the downtime to catch up with my sweetie, knit, garden, etc.! Thanks for sharing.
I linked two of my daughter's posts on rhythm (morning and bedtime). We love reading about these beautiful rhythms you have created for your family.
blah.. I totally messed up the linky thing (1st time I ever used one lol) sorry :)
A 6:30pm bedtime! I can not imagine what I'd do with myself with all that evening time (as it is, I usually drift off while helping my boy get to sleep). I am so very, very jealous & applaud you for discovering that it works in your family! I don't think I've ever had the courage to try. Sleep has been torture for us - still is. On the rare occasions that my boy falls asleep before 8:30pm, he wakes in the middle of the night for hours at a time...telling stories, tossing and turning. But should we ever manage to wear him down (so far I can count on one hand how many times we've succeeded since he was born), I feel like a new person with those few, precious, end-of-the-day hours alone & with my husband. Every day I try to remind myself that one day our little person could grow into a nasty, brooding teenager (as I was) who doesn't want anything to do with his parents, so I shouldn't complain about alone/couple time lost now. But still... Like Renee, I do so appreciate your willingness to share these beautiful moments. Hugs to you all! And how about Saturday or Sunday for meeting up this week?
So sweet...I miss the routines I had when I had only three and they were all little...now it seems my 12 year old can stay up reading later than I can! Our routines have taken a beating. I do generally go into the "little's" room and sing a lullaby and say prayers, bless them all with holy water and go out. I like the tooth-brushing with the young ones; you are right, they will learn better by imitation.

Your photos have such warmth and sweetness to them!
That sounds like a perfectly lovely bedtime routine. And I couldn't agree more - my girls always function better on a good nights sleep. Well, my teenagers have morphed into stay up late and sleep in now that they are older, but Hazel is still in bed before most of the others on the street.
And, I love Fiona's lamps. I had the pleasure of taking a few workshops with Fiona when she still lived in Ottawa. We travelled in some of the same knitting store circles. She is an amazing woman.
Happy Tuesday to you.
1 reply · active 710 weeks ago
So sweet! Thanks for sharing. I'd love to know when bathing is in your rhythm.

Also....Napping/Quiet Rest rhythm is my next request. :) Love.
1 reply · active 710 weeks ago
Thanks for sharing! Your day/night artwork has inspired some needlefelting I'm working on. :-)
My rhythm begins when I do things that keep my humble cottage running smoothly. My boys and my girl are teenagers and my daughter, which requires just a bit more attention, keeps me in a rhythm all for her :) (she is disabled and needs quite a bit from me). But the flow of your day is just that, a flow. What joy to be able to accept it and go with it.

I am reading the same book with my girl this month. She just enjoys listening to mami read to her, I get such an enjoyment of just watching her watch me :)

Be blessed today,

Maria
This is SO wonderful!!! Thank you for sharing - it's really lovely and so inspiring (as always!) I am so touched that you included my comment -wow- I hope you know that I just think you are doing such an amazing job with your kids, and giving them such a beautiful, healthy childhood. I mean, you ought to celebrate yourself and all you do!:)
I so wish I could have earlier bedtimes with my little ones. The rhythm we have seems to really work for them, and allows my husband some time to see them (he leaves around 7am, and usually gets home around 7pm) but geez, I'm so tired by the time they finally go to bed! Maybe as the days get shorter we can try to get them in bed a bit earlier...and I'd love to find out how to make one of those lanterns - wow, how lovely!
have a beautiful day * :)
I love these posts on rhythm, they're so helpful! Love the moon verse.

I linked to my post on our nightly task chart that has become apart of our evening rhythm. I love it because I can just point to the next task or say visit the chart. and both of my sons love the pictures and pretty watercolor paper.

Becca
1 reply · active 710 weeks ago
I posted my and older blog on rhythm, I have been slacking being so pregnant loving your posts to help me get some more rhythm in our days and weeks and get me back on track
Goodness, I'm glad to see that my girls aren't the only ones who are looking *too big* these days.

I really love that moon verse. I try to do lots of relaxing touching at bedtime, and I may steal that verse from you to add to our nighttime routine.

And I'm laughing because I, too, because I also said that I was having a pity party after my last post. I hope that you were only half serious, since you have every reason to be upset! Happy Birthday to you! It wouldn't be the same, but could you pretend that one day this weekend is your birthday?

In loving (birthday) kindness,
~carrie~
Thank you for sharing, I am loving all your rhythm posts.
How sweet! Would you mind telling me where bathtime fits into your rhythm? We usually do baths after dinner, but I've been wondering if I should rethink it. Anyhow, I'd love to hear what you do!
1 reply · active 710 weeks ago
Ditto Monica's comment. Things get pretty hectic when bath time rolls around and I'd really like to find a way to avoid that chaos.

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