Perception is a funny thing, isn't it?
This morning I stood before my closet, staring at all my autumn weather clothes feeling a bit sorry for myself for not making the effort to set some money aside and get a couple of new garments. I have owned a lot of the clothing I have for so many years that they feel faded, worn, and just plain old. Kevin likes to point out that I can be selfless to the point of not having things I need so that my family can have things they want. That may be true but I am okay with it for the most part - except on days like this, when I become fixated on how others perceive me.
I finally find a dress I feel okay wearing when I remember that the zipper broke on my autumn/winter boots last summer. So I can wear my sandals, barn boots, or Converse with the dress, none of which are ideal for church or 38 degree weather. I put the dress back and settle on a maxi style dress that will hide my barn boots and keep me warm.
This was sometime before Baby F decided to take my full cup of coffee and throw it across the dining room and after one of my sweet daughters stood crying before me because she didn't have warm enough water in the shower and was utterly cold (The floods took out our furnace. The repair men finally have the part they need and are fixing it Monday). Perhaps it was the cold or maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but this day just did not seem to be going very well.
We ended up having to stand out in the vestibule area of our
church for Mass because we arrived nearly a half hour late and there were no seats.
After Mass Baby F and I took the kids to RE class and then drove home to
regroup and try to restart our day. I felt a bit better when I went back to
pick them up. K came out of her RE class and chatted about what she did today
(All of my children love RE. They always have so much to tell me afterwards).
Her class was mostly focused on charity, how people spend their money, rich
versus poor and so on. One of K's friends in class said that she thought our
family was rich. K (finding that thought quite amusing) asked her why and she
said it was because we were always so well dressed at Mass. Her other
classmates agreed. I just laughed when she told me this. Here I am thinking
that everyone is perceiving us as a band of ragamuffins and they somehow see us
as something we are not at all. What a humbling thought that was. A reminder to
be a little bit gentler with myself and that things aren’t always as they
appear.
*Of course none of what I just said is related to the photos above. Those were all from our field trip last Friday to Indraloka Animal Sanctuary. Baby F declared it was home and boy did he act like it was! We were so happy to find a place like this in Pennsylvania. All of my children want us to go back soon and volunteer.
