Sunday, June 16, 2013

Bittersweet (not just a school)

Thank you Portland Waldorf School for allowing us to live our dream these past three years. What a blessing!! (pics taken over the last two days of school) IMG_2784 Our beloved home. peeking into K's classroom (during handwork) peeking into K's classroom during her handwork lesson. IMG_2568 IMG_2575 You can (just barely) see our church's steeple in the background. I have loved how close it is to school - a nice reminder for our whole family. Bubba IMG_2671 IMG_2676 IMG_2680 IMG_2678 End of the year picnic with yummy sorbet to celebrate with. I love watching K nurture Little L. She loves him so. IMG_2704 IMG_2705 IMG_2711 IMG_2710 Fun towards the end of the picnic. Some of our students and siblings worked together to dumpster dive (in true punk rock fashion), gathering cardboard used in geometry (?) lessons. The cardboard pieces became a house, tent, car, shade from the sun and then finally a slide. Creative play at it's finest!! IMG_2718 IMG_2724 hexamid IMG_2733 IMG_2731 Triumph! The school's hexamid is a favorite amongst most who visit, but you must be in the second grade and above to use it. It is a rite of passage of sorts. On the last day of school, K's teacher told her class that they were officially second graders and then let them climb on it. What a huge joy that was! K spent three years practicing her patience waiting for that moment. I think it was well worth the wait. IMG_2748 IMG_2750 IMG_2761 IMG_2762 These past few days have been so very full and a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I thought I was okay until Thursday night when we attended K's eighth grade buddy's promotion ceremony. I was so happy for her buddy and her mother that I cried. Then my cries turned to sobs when I watched and listened to all the love the students and faculty had for one another. There is just this amazing bond and feeling of hope, that words can not describe, found in Waldorf schools. My heart broke for my children as I realized they would not get to experience it any longer. K absolutely adores her eighth grade buddy and seeing them play together until very late that night was bittersweet.
My heartache continued the next day as I awoke crying my heart out. I was unable to get my children up and out of bed on time because I just couldn't stop the tears. Normally I want them to see my emotions, so they know that it's normal to experience them, but I didn't want to start off K's last day of school (possibly ever) with me crying. I got it together enough to get us all out the door and dropped K off in her classroom. As soon as I gave her a kiss goodbye I turned around and burst into tears all over again. It was like that all day. I was a blubbery mess, but got through it. Hugging my children and singing Amazing Grace over and over again with my girls helped me remember the bigger picture. Well, that and clinging on to hope that we can return here in four years, because truly, this is not just a school but a community of love; a family.
p.s - Sorry this post is a bit up and down (I can tell by the response that it must be a bit too much for you, too!) but that is where my heart and mind are at right now.

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Are you moving??
2 replies · active 614 weeks ago
Yep. Not by choice - believe me! Kevin received orders to Idaho.
Wow! Oh my gosh! Many hugs to you, I know it will be difficult leaving your wonderful area :(((
What a wonderful experience your children have had, such sweet memories for all of you. I was lucky enough to teach all of my children while teaching in a private school. We had a great time, lots of good memories. Can't wait to hear about your new chapter in your families life. You never know what wonderful thing is around the corner.
On to bigger and better things. Homeschooling waldorf-style will be a new and somewhat scary experience but I'm sure you will accomplish it with the grace and beauty us long-time readers have come to expect from you.
I read your posts always but never leave a comment but now I just have to. You really touched me by your words. I will send good luck to you all! The pictures of K nursing little L are so sweet. I know you will do a great job teaching your children. There will come new beautiful people on your way and new adventures. Wonderful you all had this wonderful experience! Lucky that your children also have eachother and that you can make a new start together. You really inspire me with your homeschooling and the way you live! Greetings Stella from the Netherlands.
You know, you are totally allowed to feel blubbery and wobbly. You're leaving a whole community, a haven of sorts and that is hard, particularly I think if you have been a free soul who's found a certain place has tethered them (in a good way).
It's a form of grief for all the places, people, routines and security that you'll miss. It's ok, you will have a great big change and new people, routine etc, you never know what you'll find at the other end, church, community. But don't stop yourself for feeling sad and emotional at this point. Let this moment roll by and you'll find once your in the car, on the way, the adventure will start.
I can imagine how difficult it is for you. We are leaving a wonderful school too and my heart literally feels like its breaking sometimes. I try to be optimistic about the new school my girls will be going to but deep down I know it can't hold a candle to the one she has been attending since she was three. It is so hard! I have a similar post over at sunny sweet life today. Come on by if you have time!
I can only imagine how difficult it will be for you to leave your beloved school. I would be heart broken if we had to leave our kid's school! I wonder if you would consider when after you move and assess the situation and the community if you would consider gathering like-minded parents together and starting your own Waldorf school? It's a lot of work, but very rewarding! This is how my kid's Waldorf school started-a handful of like-minded parents got together and started a school. We now have an enrollment of 101 students up to 8th grade. I know you won't even know if something like this is possible until you are out there and settled, but I thought I'd throw it out there. Good luck! :)
Your pain is tangible, friend. But never forget that God has plans for you-- and for your family. While I have no doubt that you will always look back on this season fondly, I also have no doubt that if you follow joyfully into the new season, you will find peace and outrageous blessing there, too.
Aw, Nicole (((hugs))), but I agree that there are likely far greater plans a-foot and for good reason. Please trust to this because I can see great things ahead of you! xxx
Hugs from Alaska! I have been praying for you and will continue to do so xx Whitney
It's OK to be sad and tearful when things that you love are ending! Please take care, and give yourself space to muster the energy for your new adventure!
I'm aware that this is behind you now, I discovered your lovely blog via Pinterest, and am reading your archives. But I just wanted to say how pleased I am that we have blogs and places like this we can share what is really in our hearts and minds. There are some things which we choose not to share with our children, and I think it is so good to have an outlet.

We don't have any Waldorf schools near us at all, but I wish, wish, wish we did! Having said that reading about your homeschooling and all the things you do with your children, it has made me realise my little girl won't miss out, we'll just find a way to do it together. X

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