Thursday, September 8, 2011

So Long, Farewell!

Disclaimer: I have been hesitant to publish this post. So much so, that this has been sitting here as a draft for a couple of weeks now.
Television is such a touchy and controversial subject for many so I am trying to step lightly here, but at the same time should I be forced to contain my excitement for something my family and I did that we are proud of? Would that be fair to us?
I personally don't understand why the topic of tv is so taboo. As with any other parenting topic, everyone does what works best for their own family. For us, a tv-free childhood is what works. Does that mean that I think everyone should do what we do or that I would ever judge those who choose differently? Heck no! I have known people in the past to get defensive due to our tv-free choice, and it pained me that they felt that way. I am not trying to offend at all nor make anyone feel they need to defend themselves or their choices - NOT AT ALL, again, it's just our choice! You guys wouldn't attack me for our choice, would you?
Ok well...Here goes nothing!



After years of toying with the idea we finally did it - we got rid of our tv!

As you probably figured out, our children do not watch tv. This was a choice we made when I was pregnant with K - before even discovering Waldorf education. To be fair I have to admit that K was briefly exposed to it for a couple of months when I pregnant with C. I stayed in bed with morning sickness watching marathons of 'Gilmore Girls', and she didn't want to leave my side. She has no memory of it, though, which is quite funny to me. Our girls don't even really know what tv is, and while that makes for awkward social situations, it's fine by me.

We still had a tv in our home, though. Actually, pre-kids Kevin and I had three tvs in our home - one in the living room, one in our bedroom and one in Kevin's office. Quite the change we have undergone,huh?!
Anyways,we kept it hidden in a cabinet downstairs in our office area. Kevin and I would still watch it at night when our little ones were in bed. It was like some kind of big secret we kept from our children. That weirded me out a bit.

Then our financial struggles hit us and we also thought perhaps we were a bit too addicted so we got rid of all tv programs and only used the tv for DVDs. Even then, we still felt like we spent too much time watching that box - time we could spend with each other or getting things done. I am one of those people that really zones out watching tv, once my eyes are on it, it's hard to look away from it.

Kevin and I would have discussions quite often about just getting rid of the tv all together. We figured if we really wanted to watch a DVD we could just do it on our computer, yet something was still preventing us from removing it from our home. I am still unsure of what that something was. Attachment and fear of being 'different', maybe?

Then the other week when Kevin was loading up our van with donations for the K-9 Search and Rescue garage sale, we said let's just do it! So we unhooked the tv, the dvd player and the vhs player and threw them in the van - never looking back.

Can I just say how great this feels?! I am getting even more done now at night with out it there to distract me - and I feel a lot better about not having this secret between our children and us. Yes, this is just what our family needed. Now why didn't we do it sooner?!



The option is still there to watch movies if Kevin and I really desire to do so (with the computer) - it's just not so blatant. In fact, Kevin and I borrowed Misty of Chincoteague (one of my favorite books from childhood) on DVD from the library last week. For some reason watching it on the computer seems to control my addiction and the need to watch more. I have a feeling movies for Kevin and I will now be a rare occasion around here, and that's just what we were hoping for.



We are not sure of what we are going to use that cabinet for just yet but we opened it up for the girls to see. They currently think it works great as a doll changing table, so that is it's current incarnation. Any thoughts on what we could use it for? I put my photo albums up high in it for now and was maybe thinking of using it for storing more crafting goodness...



Anyways - Thank you for letting me share this freeing experience with all of you, without judgement. I am so blessed to have this online community.

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Posted by FrontierDreams at 11:01 PM
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Kathya · 708 weeks ago

You guys are such a horrible people for NOT allowing your children to be brainwashed by commercials so they can want stuff they don't need. HAHAHA!!!!
Just kidding!
We, as well, try our hardest to not watch TV at home. I personally might watch about 1/2 or 1 hour of TV a month. It is kind of sad though, that my mom who lives in Bolivia, knows more about the USA than i do.
I am totally ok with my girls not watching it but we also don't have cable.
We try to spend our days outside just about all day because once winter hits in Michigan, it hits HARD!
i wish we could get rid of it as well. Hubby is too attached to it, since he didn't have a TV growing up and now, he thinks he needs to have it. We will be working on that for sure. Hopefully he will say YES!
Congrats to you both to getting rid of it. Next, my turn. ^_^ (hopefully)
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Amanda · 708 weeks ago

Funny, my blog post was about the same topic today!
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Juise · 708 weeks ago

Yay for you! We do have a TV in our home, but like yours was, it is in a shut cabinet. We've never had it hooked up to anything aside from the DVD / VHS player, though. I am so happy that my children have no concept of what "TV" is, and I completely *melt* inside every time my 3 year old says, "Mama, can we listen to Michigan Radio?" (Our NPR station.) I don't know what it is about it, but it makes me silly giddy.

I've toyed with the thought of getting rid of it completely since we almost never use it, I only ever had TV for a pretty short time growing up, though we had a set, we just used it for the occasional family movie. That's what we use ours for now, every great once in awhile we put some popcorn on the stove, cuddle up together with lots of pillows and blankets, and watch a Miyazaki film. They are such beautifully watercoloured and magic inducing, thoughtful films. Ok. That's the whole truth. I keep a TV set for watching Ponyo or Totoro every couple months. My husband and I never watch it on our own, hehe. Our computer is such that we just wouldn't be able to have that kind of snuggle to watch a movie. I think if I felt like you, that it was pulling at me or addictive for me, I would totally give it the toss, too. Good work!
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stacy · 708 weeks ago

we haven't had a television in so long that i almost forget people actually have those or that they watch them and that their kids watch them. it shocks me each time i see one front and center in a home. they are in some restaurants where we eat but we try to move or ask them to turn it off b/c all of us get so distracted. my 3 yr. old daughter really got her feelings hurt when we went to see her friend and the friend could not put down the video games- she processes it often in her play and talking it out still. i guess people just don't know the impact it has on kids. hubby and I do use the computer for movie watching but it's not nearly as comfy or enjoyable as a big ole TV would be so it happens much less frequently. I like finding births and other random student midwife stuff like suturing instruction on youtube (yes, i am a dork.) and like to catch political stuff like debates. Glad to hear you took the plunge! ;)
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stacy · 708 weeks ago

i meant to say "my hubby like to catch political stuff". I cannot handle the intensity of those.
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KathyH · 708 weeks ago

We have been 3 years without television service, only watching dvds we chose. We believe our girls are better off for living commercial free! You go girl!!
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Julianna · 708 weeks ago

No judginess from me! You go girl! :) I let my kiddos watch for an hour a day, but we don't have cable or anything, just CBC, PBS or a movie now and then. Gotta live your bliss and so glad you feel happy with your decisions!!
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ohangelina 43p · 708 weeks ago

well we have tv and are tv watchers, but i'm not crazy about it... but i'm not crazy not about it either. ive got more important things to focus on.. like the snake dangers in our area, or my children choking on stuff, or screwing up my knitting graphs. :)
seriously, hooray for you guys. the dolls and the quilt looks so much more pleasant to the eyes in there, dont they.
tv is crap, and when we move from this hole we now live in, i doubt a tv will come with us either. we'll have family around us then, " live " people are certainly more interesting ! xxoxoox
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julie · 708 weeks ago

Did you know that if you are on the computer late at night or are watching tv or at night, anything that puts light into your eyes, your body won't produce the normal amounts of serotonin and sometimes will stop producing completely. Serotonin is the feel good neurotransmitter. It is a huge regulator of mood, sleeping patterns and appetite and contributes to memory and learning. We can be more in choice about this, if we know it. Rock on mama and feel good about that decision.
1 reply · active 707 weeks ago
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Paige · 708 weeks ago

Good for you! We have been without tv for years. My daughter doesn't know what a television is (she is about to turn 3) and that is the way I think it should be. My husband and I read books and spend time on the internet after our daughter is in bed. We haven't been to a movie in over a year so we are pretty out of it when it comes to anything in entertainment but we really don't care.
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Jessica · 708 weeks ago

We had a TV in the beginning of our marriage but never any channels, just for ocassional video games. It was an ancient TV so no DVDs! Well we technically have "a" TV now but my husband uses it as the monitor for his computer--he does programming so he needs the big screen so he doesn't go blind. ;) Anyway, it feels great to have no TV! People think I'm crazy when I don't know who won on American Idol (is that even around anymore) or what the funny joke was last night on Dexter (my in-laws are addicted to that show... I have no idea what it even is!). Oh well!
Oh, regarding the cabinet, if you look around Pinterest.com there are a few people that turned theirs into play kitchens. Heck, you could even install a rod and use it as extra storage space for clothes! :)
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Kelly · 708 weeks ago

Add some shelves and stuff the tv cabinet full of yarn!

We don't turn on the tv until our son is in bed, and I've been good at only turning it on when there's a show on that I actually want to watch. There's too much other stuff I want to do! Also, tv time doubles as great knitting time. : )

Kelly @ Creating a Family Home
1 reply · active 708 weeks ago
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Mama Forestdweller · 708 weeks ago

*Way to go!*

No judgements here - we pretty much did the same thing, actually. And I feel so, so good about it.

I don't really talk about it much, either, because I don't want to come across as judging anyone, and it's one of those things people get touchy about. I would never tell another family not to have one. But it did feel victorious when the TV was finally out of the house! After about ten years of no TV, I start watching it when I was first pregnant with Eli, as I could really move very much for a while. Thankfully the Olympics were on during that time ;)

But pretty soon we couldn't stop watching it - and after we moved and stopped getting cable, we unceremoniosuly escorted it out. And, like you, I am amazed now at what we are able to do without it there. I still love movies now and again, though, and our library has loads of interesting ones, which is great!

Congrats to you, and thanks for sharing!! :)
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Jenn · 708 weeks ago

Thanks for sharing such a great post.. I grew up with tv and LOTS of movies so for me it's a slow transition.. I started with getting rid of cable then we got rid of the huge tv in the living room. We are down to one tv in the breezeway used for movie's like you did..but my next step needs to be the netflix basic subscription and then I think I will feel so much more free!! I am so happy with how easy it was for the kids to become unplugged kids with a movie on a very special occation...I do hear you about people thinking your crazy... I get that alot too...I really need to move somewhere more secluded:-) Great job mama and thanks again for sharing
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Grace · 708 weeks ago

We own a TV (you can probably see it in some of my pictures), but we don't watch it. It's such a non-issue that we just don't even notice it there most of the time. I guess we keep it for watching the occasional movie. I haven't felt the need to pitch it because none of us here have a real attachment to it, so it's not very tempting. Since we don't have a laptop, watching movies on the computer would be sort of a hassle, but since we use the TV so little, I suppose it wouldn't matter one way or the other. Oh, well. It really is so personal. I think it's funny that my TV is out for all to see, but my children have actually watched it so much less than most of their peers, including those who keep it hidden away. ;)
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Shelley · 708 weeks ago

I think that's brilliant. Well done, you. I'm actually quite jealous. I had a tiny square TV and was happy with that, one easy to store in the cupboard when not needed, until my parents bought themselves a new large-screen number. They were sitting in my livingroom telling me about it, and saying how I need a larger TV, too. Yet although I said how I was happy with what I had, they purchesed me a 26" HDTV, without my consent, the following week. Now I'm stuck with it, and it doesn't even fit in the cupboard.

My mother doesn't do things for other people, she does them for her, to have something on you. It really is like that. So, if I was to sell or donate it, I would never hear the end of it, about ungratefulness, and the like. Sigh. And now I'm expecting a child, I don't want this TV in our life, but I also don't want bad blood to exisit between her and I. But she would use this, tell my child how their mother is so awful. It's already happened in the family. My sister and mother haven't spoken in years.

I'm sorry to burden you with all this, it's just a sore point. I follow your blog, as you're a very good example of a funtioning and loving family unit, an example I don't otherwise have to witness. Good luck to you and your blessed family.
1 reply · active 707 weeks ago
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Maria · 708 weeks ago

I think that's awesome. I don't have a television (nor kids or a husband!) and I watch netflix on my computer. I'm also somebody who spaces out if the TV is on - even if it's just golf or something! I can't keep my eyes off it. Also I just personally feel like it takes people away from each other.
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thiscosylife 81p · 708 weeks ago

Well, I think it's great! And, frankly, I'm surprised to learn you even had one at all. I have one very small tv. I keep it for the occasional video... I let the girls watch maybe one a wk, myself rarely. I do watch Hulu on my computer once or twice a wk.
I would really like to see us phase both out completely. Like you said, if we really want to watch one, we can do so on the computer and I agree that would keep it to a minimum.
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Evi · 708 weeks ago

Hey Nicole, well done!! Our family has never had TV - we made the decision when we had our first child, 25 years ago! We were given a TV screen and video player when the oldest was 16 or so and we had a movie night every few weeks with the older kids, although we tended to watch the same things many times .....Princess Bride, Shrek.....! We spent our evenings reading, playing games or crafting and they still remember the specialness of our 'movie nights'! Mostly we went to bed fairly early. Our younger kids are much more TV aware though, and would watch if we had one and they do sometimes watch a doco on the computer, although I'm not really liking the idea.
I was very lucky too, as I grew up without one so didn't have a habit to break! You will never look back now that you have made the break with the ' box' ;o) Roald Dahl wrote a great poem about TV - try google. xxx
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Evi · 708 weeks ago

I've googled for you and here is a link because after I mentioned it , I just had to read it again!! Very funny indeed!

http://allpoetry.com/poem/8503191-Mike_Teavee...-...
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nadjamagdalena 51p · 708 weeks ago

We get no TV reception where we are, but still have a small TV with a built in VCR and a DVD player. I think it is used way too often for my liking (I lived TV-free for years), but now we have a number of things on DVD, and it would be hard to part with it, more for the kids and my husband than for myself. I easily forget all about it, as I am usually too busy to watch with all of them anyway.

I talk often--several times a week--about getting rid of it, but I would need my husband to back me up. I'm not about to be the Wicked Witch who gave away the TV!

I think you have made a brilliant choice!
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Lauren · 708 weeks ago

Yay!! We kept our tv in a cabinet when Roo was small too! That cabinet is now holding what's left of my craft room (we downsized from 3300 sq ft to 1k!!!) While we do still have a tv, it's on the wall, and Roo, now 8.5, might watch a movie a week... we mostly use it to watch the baseball games, and old star treks. She's funny about tv now, she's too busy to ask for it usually, and thinks commercials are weird. We play a game where when we see a commercial, I start begging for whatever it is... she (in true 8yo fashion) rolls her eyes at me and tells me how well the commercial is doing it's job! :)
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Brandy · 708 weeks ago

I wish I could do the same, but I don't think my opinion is shared by all. My new goal has been not to turn the TV on myself. Maybe when our ancient one dies we won't get a new one--we certainly can't afford it right now.
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Ann · 708 weeks ago

We got rid of our TV about 8 years ago now (before we had our son) because I was an addict. It is hard to relate when people talk about shows they watch, but it has been one of the best things we've ever done. I realized I was so busy watching other people live, create and explore that I was doing none of those things myself. I still watch a DVD on my computer occasionally, but now I knit , fold laundry or create something while I watch and it's simply not as addictive. Congratulations on your decision and from experience I'm sure you'll never regret it!
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Julie · 708 weeks ago

Yeah for you guys!! I would definitely get rid of ours, but my husband seems to think that the kids need it! And he wants it!! He likes his TV! Its only a night time thing for him and the kids seem to only watch the same shows over and over. I wish they would just go play a game or something. I usually will go up to my bedroom and read, frequently one or two of the kids will come up and read with me. We do use it to watch documentaries for school, we homeschool. We are currently studying Japan and it is useful to put a DVD to show them about the culture. Yes, I know that you can read about it and we do, but it seems to be a bit easier to grasp their culture when they see and hear about their lives. Does that make sense? Over all I would love to just throw the big stupid box in the garbage and be done with it. Why having no TV is a controversial subject is beyond me! It should be as simple as this: I choose not to have it and you should respect my decision (whether you agree or not) and you choose to have it (whether I agree or not) and I respect your decision. Simple really!

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