Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Dark Side... (or What We Have Been Up To)

Thank you everyone for your sweet comments and concern. I feel I still owe you, at least, a quick explanation as to what has been going on with us. Unfortunately it hasn't been nesting and baby bliss keeping me away (As much as I wish it was), but dilemmas and struggles instead.

I try to keep everything positive on here (and in my life, in general) so I haven't mentioned any of this before but now it is such a huge issue I can no longer ignore it. I have to say: no, I am not looking for sympathy or anything really from this post. My husband really doesn't like to talk about it and I understand his thoughts on that. I just feel the need to be completely real and, quite frankly, just to get this off my shoulders so perhaps I can feel better and see things more clearly.

We have been struggling financially for quite some time now but trying to ignore the struggle with credit cards (yeah, not wise!). We knew that sending K to our beloved Waldorf school would mean some hardships and struggles for us but we were ready to accept them at any cost because this education is the most important thing to us (I am wishing all the money spent on toys in Virginia was put towards savings for school, though, *ahem*). We just didn't realize how hard it is to survive out here.

When we moved to the beautiful west coast our money problems became progressively worse and worse (I still can't get over how expensive it is to live out here). Basics like warm healthy meals, heat, gas, etc are now considered luxuries. To add to it our old house is falling apart around us, we just learned it is uninsulated (so that's why we can't get the temp in our home above 59 degrees), the windows may as well not even exist, there are too many things to list that need to be fixed BUT we can't afford to do any of them. I don't want to bore you or go into details of our struggles but let's just say it's not so good. The ideas of foreclosure and bankruptcy have been tossed around quite a bit, just so we can survive. We had a possibility of help and were really counting on it,but alas, that fell through.

Wow, just getting that out there feels like a ton of bricks off of me.

With that in mind, the stress alone has kept me pretty occupied but we also had to cut out every bill we could, that meant good-bye to the internet. I am able to get online every now and then right now at our library or my husband's office but not every day like I used to.

We do have a glimmer of hope at the moment, my husband is up for promotion in March which would bring us a little bit more money. But promotion is all based on a long written test instead of on how well he's been doing (gotta love government jobs). So he is currently studying his butt off and we all have our fingers crossed (please cross yours for us, too!). I honestly wish I could somehow take all the pressure off of him. He works so, so hard (we barely get to see him anymore), and I know what ever stress I am feeling, he has it 100 times worse.

We are taking everything day by day right now and just living in each moment, trying not to dwell on the negatives. There is too much to love about life to let anything, no matter how great or how small, get us down.

I mean, every cloud has it's silver lining, right? Well, I have been reminding myself that everything happens for a reason and to find the bright side of things. If things are meant to be then they will be.
There are amazing things happening to us, as well...

-Our sweet little baby is due oh so soon with much excitement and anticipation
-K and C's play has transformed in such a beautiful way that my husband and I just
can't stop watching them
-We have an incredible, incredible community at school wanting and waiting to help us out with our new arrival
-Our little K has never been happier in all her life. Thanks to our school she is thriving more than ever could be imagined. I just can't get over it. She is growing and changing so much from her wonderful influences at school, we are so very, very blessed and grateful
-I was asked to contribute to a really fun book and I accepted. The deadline is really soon so that has been keeping me busy, too ;)
-We are really appreciating the simple things in life more and more, and just loving each others' company
-I feel even more connected to my girls, and even with my crazy pregnant hormones, I see the patience they are teaching me really paying off
-Nana and Grandpa will be coming out to see us this year and we are all thrilled
-We witnessed K talking to her guardian angel, telling her how happy and thankful she is for school
-We have made some inspiring, special friends and spend many a days at the (nice and warm) school library playing, knitting/crafting and talking
-The baby's blanket is about 95% done (but that's more of a personal triumph for me)
-Above all : we have love, and really isn't that all that truly matters???

Well, there you go. I tried to make it a short explanation but even the short version is rather long, eh? I still have some Christmas pics and other positive things to share, hopefully before this Winter babe arrives.

Thanks for reading all my rambling, I know it was a lot to get through!
Sending all of you love and warmth.

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74 comments:

FatrdlasNotizBlog said...

I am relieved that all your family members are healthy, thanks for sharing your story. Wishing you all the best!!

Linda said...

Sending Love and Light your way dear Nicole:)
xo xo

Myrnie said...

:o( Thank you for sharing....it's not an easy road to travel, I know! (And I think there are more people traveling this road than we will probably ever know.)

Heidi said...

Prayers that things get better. Lots of people going through this these days, sadly...

Seaside Siblings said...

I really hope things get better for you on the financial front soon. It is so very hard isn't it? We are going through very similar, we were already on a low income and this week we found out we will soon be down more very soon, it really sucks and so many hard decisions to be made as a result.

lovestitches said...

Thanks for sharing and you are definitely not the only ones struggling with money and worrying like crazy. I hope it picks up for you and hubby gets that promotion.

Distawi said...

Yesterday, I just found your blog in search for Waldorf inspiring and I am really sorry for your struggles. We are in a similar situation, so I really understand what you're going through. Prayers for you and your family from Germany.

Diana

astrid said...

i'll be thinking of you, and send you all the best....love, astrid

Jackie said...

Just to say we have been there, down into the pit, and you know, this too shall pass.
Doesn't help much at the moment, I know, but waving at you from the other side, and knowing you will get through it.

Sherene said...

We too have been there. In truth, I had made a pack for my daughters health when she was very small and sick. In the pack I said I could handle anything. So I try to balance all the troubles with her health. And its true, as parents we'd go through anything for their health and happiness. And, I learned a lot from those very lean years, and that knowledge is what has made these years better. Many Blessings to you and your sweet family.

Sara Savel said...

Hi...I am a new reader and I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Financial stress can really be a burden. I am sorry you are dealing with it.

Laura Spilde said...

We have been there too. We moved in with my husband's relatives. We are very soon at full recovery and getting back on our own feet. Life can be hard, but keep living the dream! Congrats on the baby too! We homebirthed our second in a healthy and quick delivery and it didn't even reach the cost of 200$ with careful planning and preparation.

Nancy said...

I wish there was more that we could do, it all feels rather helpless via the Internet! Our hopes and prayers and best wishes are with your every member of your family, including the coming little one. No pity here, just caring thoughts and relief that you are well.

Miranda said...

We too have been through financial hardship over the last few years. It is especially difficult while you are pregnant! This is the time you want to nest and focus on your coming baby, not feel stressed about finances. Again, I totally relate. Thank you for sharing this with everyone. I'm sure this will help someone out there who is also struggling and feeling isolated.
Praying for your husbands upcoming test, and for you and your baby:)

eidolons said...

Many internet hugs from my family to yours.

I wish there was something more substantial I could do to help (you and everyone else, too).

Nadja said...

I will be praying for you.
When we moved from Charlotte, NC to rural TN for the sake of our kids and to be closer to family, Bret went from making $25/hr to being unemployed for months, and then having to take a $10/hr construction job. Living out here was not cheaper, even food cost more, and we needed a 30 minute drive to get anywhere. I was 8 months pregnant with my third child.

After a few years here and Bret finding decent work (still making way less than in Charlotte, however), the economy went bust and his employer went bust, and he has been unemployed/self employed for 2 years now. And we have 6 kids now. It is stressful at times, and we also have had to cut back quite a bit, but I trust that God will grant us our needs, even if He will not always do so for our wants.

Bless you, and use this opportunity to learn greater trust in God and deepen your appreciation of what is really important in life. And don't let the stress ruin this time of nurturing a new life inside you!

Bending Birches said...

Nicole, I so feel you on this post.
Winter is a hard time for us every year as work is scarce for my husband, and I am at home with W. our heat has been turned way down, our windows drafty; we are cold. we get by on WIC checks and $30 worth of groceries a week. we eat a ton of soup. i am hoping we qualify for food stamps to get us through the rest of the winter...
i love that you put your children's education before anything else. priceless would be an understatement. Clearly, you see the value in this investment as you watch your girls grow into imaginative and creative little girls:) Best of luck with the baby- I'll be thinking of you...you're not alone!
bendingbirch@gmail.com

boatbaby said...

I hatehatehate seeing this happen to so many wonderful people I know in real life around me and online friends too. I wish I lovef closer so I could help. I am crossing my fingers AND toes for your husband's promotion. And I am thinking of you and your sweet baby. love to you all!

Clare said...

We have our own financial struggles, as so many other do so I understand how difficult it can be. I love how you seem to focus on the right things. Have you thought of putting a PayPal icon on your blog for a while for your readers to donate through? Its an easy way for people to help, even just a little adds up quickly.

Herbal Tonya here said...

You are not alone. We are experiencing the same stress and heavy stress it is. I feel like it is eating away at me physically and emotionally. We are reliant on the govs EBTcheck for food and needing to find a place to live this Spring, so stressful. So, I hear you and feel for you and send you all the best... hoping that the situation resolves for all of us! Thanks for sharing!
-tony(a)
http://plantinggreendreams.wordpress.com/

Dawn said...

Sending you warm wishes for your future. I'm sorry that things have been so rough lately. I'm glad that you have such a wonderful community around you during this difficult time.

Anonymous said...

Dear Nicole
Your honesty moves me. I also remember times very well when things were so much harder, laying awake at night worrying about the future. But despite the worries, those times were also full of happiness and simplicity....isn't it true that being forced to scale down also brings along a sense of mindfulness and focus on what is really essential? If only one didn't need to worry so much.... my warmest wishes that things will turn for the better soon....
Babette

Jessica said...

Sending you love & hugs.

~Jessica XOXO

Wendi said...

I'm so glad that the school is as wonderful as you'd hoped.:o) I know that the sacrifices can seem overwhelming and I hope that things feel better for you and that the promotion goes through.

Love and Laughter,

Wendi

sarah said...

fingers crossed for success on your husbands test. also sending happy, fun stress relieving vibes your way. i always enjoy seeing you handwork and look forward to seeing photos soon of your new baby moon.

renee ~ heirloom seasons said...

Hello my dear dear friend! Oh my, K talking to her angel is just so so sweet! I am happy she is doing so well with school, you last emailed about your transition struggles, she must be settling into your new rhythm nicely now.

Have I ever told you that we are very poor? We also live in a very expensive area, we have actually moved away several times because of it, yet we always came back (should have just saved all that moving money instead!) I really do know though how hard it is, but I also know that something as simple as the love our our truly amazing family is enough to get us through anything!

I so so wish we could talk more! I have been not writing cause I know your computer time is so limited, maybe just a super quick email though...

Lots and lots of love to all, please know you are in my thoughts, and I know all will be well!
XOXOXOOXOX

(p.s. and do you need diapers for baby??)

Emilie said...

Ah mama, hugs!! We are there too :(. It's so so hard. I know that living in Portland is so expensive. I grew up there and currently we are living on the southern OR coast. I have to say that there is no way we could ever afford to move back to Portland. We can barely afford to live in our run down coastal town. Money problems are incredibly stressful. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful family. Whatever happens, you all have each other and everything will be okay. hugs hugs hugs!

Miranda said...

I think what Clare said is a great idea. Please consider putting up a Pay Pal button. I know that's not why you wrote this post, but I know people would love to help:)

thegirlsmom said...

I'm so sorry you do have this stress! We've been there too and are just starting to recover but it has been sooo stressful!
I'm sure you'vee thought of everything but I just wanted to say that as far as I know, Waldorf / Steiner schools would never turn anyone away because of finance difficulties.... have you approached the school for a fee reduction?
I so hope everything gets better for you soon!
And I totally agree you could put up a paypal button, I'd definitely love to help you... your blog has inspired me SO much and I know I am a better mother and our house is a calmer, happier one because of it!
Or please please open an etsy shop... all your creations are just beautiful!
xxxx

Julie said...

I am glad to hear that everyone is healthy. I hope that everything falls into place soon for you "guys".
Although it is probably of little consolation to you. Your children probably won't remember the hard times. My mom was just having a converstion about it with my youngest sister (who wasn't yet born). I was young when we went through it and I have absolutely no recollection.

Jennifer said...

Thanks for coming back- you're one of my favorite bloggers! :) Please just know that you are not alone- there are others of us out here just barely scrapping by too- I know how that is from first hand experience, and how frustrating it is (especially when you have children) not to be able to afford the lifestyle you feel convicted to follow. I don't pretend to know your personal situation, but for my husband and I the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University (and his books, available through the library) is what is finally turning things around for us- we finally feel like we have some hope. :) I'll be keeping you guys in my prayers- and I so appreciate your honesty here- it's so refreshing to see that life isn't just one big happy bubble for everyone but me when it comes to trying to live this lifestyle and follow some of these philosophies! :) Much love your way. xoxoxo

Enjoy Birth said...

Hugs to you. I know money can be such a huge challenge. I second Dave Ramsey's books. I also use YNAB http://www.youneedabudget.com/ to help with our money. Both of those tools have helped our family with our money.

Feel hopeful - there is a way out.

Hugs

Adlerfam said...

Much strength to you in this time of struggle. I have experience with the poor window/ no insulation thing, I really feel your pain on that one. When we bought our 100+ year old house in MA, there was what looked like plastic wrap covering all of the windows. We took it down, which was silly, because I am sure now it was there to keep the place a bit warmer. We had trouble getting the house over about 56.

I hope things get easier for your family soon. Do you need anything for the baby? I just had a baby in September and I have some things I could hand down to you -- cloth diapers? I might have a few gender neutral clothes, but most are girly. Anyhow, if you need anything, please email me -- sharonlynnadler@gmail.com

Woolly Wanderer said...

It takes true courage to be honest, I will keep you in prayers that things will be sorted soon.

God Bless

San

Kristy said...

Sometimes it's just easier to ignore where things are at... (having been there similarly while not the same) because if you don't know, then you don't ~know~... but then, even though knowing isn't any better, it's an honest knowing and you can try and put it into some 'size' that you can work on, to do something about.

'We' do sometimes talk about Community and how we wish it were stronger like the days of the village - yet we can be reluctant to let that village 'in' when times are hard. If you're able to, let the village in... you're actually giving so much by letting others be there for you... many hands make light work and lighten your heart as well as the practical.

and finally, I will admit some relief when I read your beautiful baby was so close to being here and that it was 'just' finances that had kept you away... I know how ill financial strain can make you feel, but I was still glad that you all were 'okay'.

Sending you biggest best wishes from Aus as you plan and build your ladder out of this spot.

Kristy said...

eta seconding above re your school - you can only try - I know our Waldorf School has the same 'no child shall be denied a Steiner Education because of their family financial situation.

Add to that, you can post a comment on my blog your email address... then I'll email you re postal address so I can send tiny baby nappies and little clothes (what season will it be over there when Bub arrives? still cold yes?). I'll just withhold the comment so it won't be published.

ditto to an Etsy shop lol I'd be there!

Warmth and hugs from summer over here
xo

Kim said...

As so many before me have said, you are a brave to share your hardship and knowing that so many others are in similar situations does not make your own any easier. Know that this wonderful, wide community you have created loves and supports you from afar. Feel our good wishes and hugs - for you, the children, new babe and husband. Best to all.

melody said...

We've been there, and oh, it was hard. But in a way, I'm now thankful for that time. Things are really incredibly good for us right now and as recently as 18 months ago, I wouldn't have believed that was possible. Not only are things so much better, but we have a much deeper appreciation of them because of the struggle that was life before now. Every little thing feels like such a huge blessing to us now. And you know what? the struggle did bring us closer and remind us of what was really important, much like you said. You have such a good attitude and a strong spirit. I hope that things turn around for you soon and that your life lessons will be strong and nourishing ones that will stay with you no matter what life brings.

I've been thinking about you, your family and your new little guy a lot!

Whirlwind Woman said...

Living in Portland IS hard. However, I discovered a little place recently that makes groceries a bit easier. http://frontiermissions.org/content/blogcategory/39/60/ It's a scratch and dent store, very reasonable and worth the trip.

We also did a Community Basket for several years that stretched our food dollars. Check out Oregon Food Bank's website.

Otherwise, I'm so very happy to hear that all is well with your family, and it has been other issues that have kept you away. We lived similarly for years, with a grocery budget under $150 per month for a family of 4, every bill always late, wondering how to get the kids new shoes for school...Things are better now, I went back to school and have a good job. It's such a trade-off, though, I don't get to spend nearly enough time with my 2 year old. I hope things get better for your family so you never have to make those trade-offs.

Many thoughts for you and your family from rural Clackamas county.

Cari

Erica said...

Dear Nicole

I follow your sweet blog from Brazil where we are bad-payed at our jobs, so I know exactely what you are living, as I already was in an worse situation. To keep my daughter at Waldorf school I talked to their scholarship program and received 60%! Hope your local school has the same program.
This is such a hard time you are living... but also know that there is a better future for your family just ahead, this situation will change, I am sure.
Thank you for having the courage of living your family in such a special and ispiring way - and sharing it.
We warmly have your family in our most beautiful thoughts.
Many hugs,
√Črica

cat said...

oh my darling. i have been so anxious to hear a word from you. i am so sorry this has been happening, but completely understand the stress. we struggle alot and are still under alot of debt weight with no end in sight. but as you have done, so have i in counting the positives.

i am surprised at how much the cost of living is where you are, but now that you have let us in on the house problems, i'm not surprised your bills are alot higher. not insulated?! didn't the inspection show that when you were trying to purchase it? i'm soooo sorry love!

as far as food goes, have you looked into joining a coop of some sort? that saved us when jason wasn't working and kept at least some fresh, organic meals on the table.

i wish there was something i could do to help you...:( i miss you honey and worry so much about you and the kids. keep the positives up, you will get through this....sometimes these lessons are hard learned but when you come out the other side they are actually a blessing.

call me...5127043877

love you ni!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

Marina said...

"There is too much to love about life to let anything, no matter how great or how small, get us down"

I just loved that quote, Nicole. You are an amazing woman, mother, wife and friend... We're holding you and your family close in our hearts

Less than 3 Bajillion, Zillion :) ....

Marina

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your honnesty. I do agree with other comments about Paypal donations and would love to find some of your creations on Etsy! Wishing you strength and courage... Sarah

Simply Playing said...

Finances seem to be such a taboo subject in our culture. I'm glad you had the strength to talk and share stories about yours. We too suffer from too little money, drive a car with only 2 doors that work, each of us working a couple jobs to keep things together. We found help from a grandparent that was willing to send our Sam to his Waldorf School. Is family an option for you? He's very proud to support us in this way as education is so important to him. Best wished to you and your family and thanks for sharing as it is so good to know you are not alone.

Ann

Anne said...

I think this might be the first time I have commented here, but I am a longtime reader. Thank you so much for sharing what you are going through. I agree with others who have suggested a paypal button or perhaps a list of items you might need for the baby or the bigger girls? I will be praying for you.

earthboysblog said...

Nicole I feel for you. I know how it is to. I remember those times when my family never had money and we would eat the same soup for two weeks. I had holes in my school shoes that I wore for years. Nicole I then travelled through many 3rd world countries and spent much time in relief camps in Calcutta and travelled India and SE Asia, I have seen so much poverty and disease. A family of 12 that we help out with food and donate construction materials live in a little wood shack, they have a hole for a toilet and collect rain water from the roof. So when ever I feel that we have hard times I always remind myself how fortunate we are. I do believe many things happen for a reason, the many challenges in life make us who we are. Yes there are many beautiful things happening for you in your life, you must be so happy that little babe will be joining you very soon. You can come and stay with me for a while if you like :) I am sure all will work out - it always seems to Nicole, some way or another.

Josie said...

OH I do feel for you. We are just crawling our way back from the brink right now, husband having finally got a decent job and having cut out everything and relied heavily on jumpers and soup.

We have had everything fall apart on us when we were in no position to stop it. House, both cars (we live in the middle of nowhere so needed 2, or so I thought!) and all the things we have come to rely on like washing machines and heating. It has been a hard learning experience and I have had to stop teaching as I have no transport, but we have also learnt so much from it. Stark lessons about what we really needed, what we were really grateful for, and how valuable something like a car or a washing machine really is.

The strange thing is that in the midst of the worst of it I knew that it was also a learning experience, and once everything had been dissasembled and I stopped taking anything for granted.....it got better!

This too shall pass. x

Plain and Joyful Living said...

Our family has been where you are so deep in debt, without much hope, but faith carried us through and little steps each day. (Getting rid of the credit cards and finding a way to live well on little which meant living in an off grid mobile home for two years with our sixth baby being born there). and there are still days, where all we have is the money in our jar.
But now we don't have the debt hanging over us.
As you wrote, growth and love will thrive even in the midst of hardship.
Thinking lots of you.
Tonya

Jennifer Johnson said...

Sweet Nicole, I feel so much for you. We have been struggling so much the past few years, too. It seems never-ending. It is interesting that you comment on how high the cost of living is out here, because I often see what people live on in other parts of the country, and wonder how they get by. It is very expensive out here, public transportation isn't that great, and it is cold and damp for most of the year. The money stresses are so great when we have little ones. And having a baby due soon just adds more layers of stress and worry.

I think you are on the right track (as much as you can be!) This is a time where it seems we all have to be creative. I see a big shift going on among so many people I know, especially young families. We loved the Dave Ramsey course; it helped us turn things around. We also had to be super humble and accept help from friends and family. It does build community when we allow others to help us, but we had to be open about it first.

Next time we get down to Portland, perhaps I could visit with you, maybe bring you some muffins or something? My parents live in Vancouver (we're north of Seattle).

Keep focusing on the positive. You will make it through this.

Stephanie K. said...

I have tears in my eyes. It is so hard for us to reach out and say things are not going so well, without also listing all that is wonderful in our lives. I am so happy your children are thriving and that your pregnancy has been healthy. I am so sorry you are under such stress. We have been getting ourselves increasingly into debt too...raising small children is not easy, especially if you choose to stay home with them part or full time. Sending you strength and faith...

Jumbleberry Jam said...

Oh Nicole! I'm so very sorry the move has been so hard. While I'm so happy to have you on this coast, it breaks my heart to hear it's been so difficult. Is there a special meal and dessert that your family loves but haven't been able to have in a long while? I would like to make it and bring it down as soon as you're up for a visitor (of course, I wouldn't stay but a minute as I don't want to interrupt your babymoon - my email is inannamama at gmail). Not a day goes by since I read your post a few days ago that I don't think of you and your sweet family, sending hope, perseverance, financial windfalls o'plenty, joy and love to you all.

Kelsey said...

Your blog means a lot to so much of us, please put up a paypal! i will pray for your amazing little family! Let us know what you need! Can't wait to see that little boy :)

Carrie said...

Another grateful reader sending you and your family hugs and love. We're in the same boat - doing everything we can to keep our girls at their wonderful Waldorf/Steiner school. We are fortunate enough to get a scholarship this year, but even with the greatly reduced financial contribution we are at the end of our financial tethers. I am a teacher and only work one day a week so that I can mostly be a SAHM. If I went back full time we'd be very comfortable, but then someone else would be raising my kids. What a dilemma! Just know that you are not alone. And your positivity is inspirational.
Love from England. xxxxx

liebchenhut said...

You might consider starting an Etsy shop and homeschooling. The fact that your husband is not unemployed is a plus and since he does some kind of government work, his position is most likely secure. Trust me you are not alone...many of us are on this same road...believe it or not identical to your situation...keep smiling :)

karen said...

Im so sorry to hear that things are difficult financially for your family at the moment:( Fingers crossed that your husband is able to get a pay raise soon to take some of the stress off you both. If you do start an etsy shop an idea would be to sell some bees wax ornaments as they wouldn't bee too time consuming for you and are so lovely:)

Nicola (Which Name?) said...

I suppose I could have asked Marina for more details on how you have been, but I haven't, so I am glad you were able to be honest here. Huge huge hugs. I have fingers, toes, and lottery vibes crossed and sent.
Can't wait to hear about your baby!
Nicola

Felt on the Fly said...

I wish you all the best, and I am so glad that you are able to make such a long list of things that *are* wonderful in your life. It sounds like, even though you have struggles right now, you have learned some valuable lessons and you clearly know what is most meaningful in this life. I am confident that one day, you're going to look back on this moment in time and be quite proud of not only the struggle and ultimate success, but you will also see that it was this moment that brought you strength of character. Wishing you well! : )

Laura Jeanne said...

I don't know if I have ever commented on your blog before, but I have stopped by from time to time. I just wanted to say that I totally understand how you are feeling. I too, try to stay positive on my own blog, but sometimes it feels like I am being dishonest when we are one step away from going on welfare at any given moment. My husband lost his job last September, and since then we have been scraping along only with the income from our Etsy shop. Our debt is growing at the same time. We also have a new baby on the way.

It's SO stressful and awful wondering every single month how we are going to pay all the bills and still be able to eat, too. But I know that the way things are these days, lots of people are going through this, unfortunately. So I think it's great that you had the courage to talk about it on your blog, so those of us going through the same thing won't feel so alone.

I wish you best of luck!

cat said...

just letting you know that i'm thinking about you and sending lots of love. you've got a full plate with a new baby boy arriving imminently, but do try Etsy. I am about to do the same since our income isn't paying the bills every month ourselves. i even considered a night and weekend job, but jason doesn't want me to do that. nobody can really afford childcare these days, so i am down to one kid part time..:( so i hear you sweetie. i keep thinking about all the good we have in our world however and keep re-reading your post to find strength for us both.

i love you so much...hang in there. do the paypal thing too, you'd be surprised who wants to contribute!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Jessie at Luna Pacifica said...

Thank you for sharing. It is not all roses and pie for my little family either. We too have been on the brink of losing house and home and the stress has been painful.

It's all in the little things.
I'm so happy you've shared.

This is My Life said...

Hang in there.

Simple Mama said...

I somehow missed this post. I'm so relieved that it's money and not health issues keeping you from posting here.

An Etsy shop would be amazing - but difficult to manage if you don't currently have internet access. I second the idea of a paypal button.

I'm so, so sorry things are so difficult right now. Wishing you peace and love.

Danita

Anna said...

We too are having financial troubles, and our newest blessing has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. I will be praying for you and your family. It's not easy, but know that your blog gives such a peaceful feeling of love and warmth that I just LOVE reading it. I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you.
Love and prayers,
Anna Little
South Beloit, IL.

Carli said...

Winter can be hard for most of us. I live out here in the NW too. And I have found these resources super helpful in the Portland area (perhaps they will be of help to you and your family). I order all of our food (and we eat organic) through KnowThyFood.com. It is a local food buying club and also an online forum- PortlandGreenParenting.com This has reduced our food bills to almost 1/2 what they were. Also AzureStandard.com (PGP is a drop point as well). As far as cold Portland houses, I think the utility companies offer free plastic for windows. Wishing you all a warm and Healthy winter!
~Carli

nocton4 said...

hugs huge hugs xx

Angela Mobley said...

Love and warmth to you, dear Nicole. So many are struggling these days...your gratitude is very inspiring. Hugs...we never know what the future holds.

TulsiLeaf said...

We to struggle with finances. We are talking about bankruptcy and all that. So I totally feel for you. It must be ten times more stressful with another babe on the way.

Nice to see an update from you.

Prairie Girl said...

Oh Nicole, like so many have said before - I am relieved to hear everyone is healthy. I can't imagine the strain you are under, but you have such a sweet, strong spirit. Though it is far from easy, keep believing in hope - you will pull through. Sending love, hugs and prayers. xoxo

Amanda said...

I'm a new reader and can totally relate. We've been going through some financial difficulties too. We have a 5 month old and when I was pregnant with him the thought "Was this really a good idea" kept crossing my mind - now I can't imagine life without him. Your little ones will help take your mind off the money worries and foreclosure isn't the end of the world if it came to that. Just hang in there - it's so hard - but something good will come your way.

GroovyMoments said...

A beautiful and honest post. Thanks for sharing.
We too have a wee babe arriving very shortly, and such an arrival causes you to examine all situations even deeper, making difficult things seem even that much more unsettled and daunting. All the best to your family. I'll be praying for you xo

Grace@PoeticHome said...

I've been following your wonderful blog, as it has given me such inspiration for creating rhythm in my own home with my one-year old son. I am touched by your candor and sincerity, and I hope you can find comfort in the saying, this too shall pass.

At the risk of giving advice that was not asked for, have you considered monetizing your blog? I'm sure there are many sponsors who would gladly pay for ad spots, or you could even just start running Google Adsense within a few minutes -- the few dollars per day with Adsense adds up to a taken-care-of bill by the end of the month!

Also, when I was considering moving to Portland, I found a free charter school in Portland (I think it is in the NE) that was Waldorf-inspired, just in case you have not heard of it.

My sincerest and kindest wishes to you and your wonderful family.

Earth Mama said...

I think all these things are really blessings in disguise. We are right there with you. Some night we don't have heat. Some weeks we don't get to go grocery shopping, but instead make do with the odds and ends we do have. These are the times. Just know that it's pretty much everyone struggling. The sooner we let go to our ideals of what one needs and how we think we should be living I think things will shift, but I see you doing that already in your level of gratitude for the things you DO have. I'm not sure what the answer is yet though. When I find out, I 'll let you know.

Hang in there, spring is coming!

:)Lisa

Linda said...

So sorry you are struggling! I have lived here my whole life (Oregon) and it has gotten so crazy in the past decade with cost of living. I can hardly afford to live in my home state anymore. :(

But there are all kinds of assistance programs, particularly with food share/gleaning. My husband works in low-income weatherization, they do it free to the homeowner. Info here: http://www.oregon.gov/OHCS/SOS_Low_Income_Weatherization_Assistance_Oregon.shtml

Siva Kumaran said...

I really hope things are looking better. We have been there and struggled our way through. But pray so hard that God can't but listen to you and answer all your prayers. I hope all your troubles will soon be something of the past.

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