Autumn Leaves

Autumn is here. The leaves are falling but sadly they are not changing - just falling green and brown. Too much rain here the past couple of months. I am holding out for the explosion of color that I know will still happen, just like the autumns I remember growing up in New York.

Autumn Leaves

Continuation?

I suppose this post is somewhat of a continuation of my last summer post. I am just loving this place where we live. Although the flooding we had last week wasn't exactly the most fun I have ever had. 😬 Our normally docile creek took over a lot of our land (I shared a video of it in my stories on Instagram), including flooding our basement waist deep, as well as completely flooding many of our neighbors' land and homes. It also knocked the power out and closed all the roads around us. At least we were warned before we even moved in to never store anything in the basement. I am so glad we listened to that warning. The rain has been gone for about three days now and things are drying up. However, as of right now our forecast says rain every day from Monday until August eleventh. 🙏

As I am sure you can imagine, 61 acres calls for something with a bit more power than a push mower. Granted some of the acreage is hay fields and some of it forest but there is still quite a bit leftover for us to mow on a regular basis. A riding lawnmower to the rescue. The boys watched in awe when it was delivered to our home (Baby F watched with some crazy, crazy bedhead going on). I don't know who was most excited about it's arrival - the boys,K, or Kevin. K got the honor of being the head lawnmower. A job she is thrilled to have. I think in her mind she is imagining she is driving a car as she mows. Hey, I wouldn't blame her. It is great practice for when she learns to drive - something that is not too far in the future!

I shared one of the above photos of Baby F's playspace on Instagram but forgot to share it here. You see those feathers on top of his teepee? Those were found on our land and thanks to our new favorite nature find book Bird Feathers* we discovered they are wild turkey feathers. Those photos are a bit old now. They were from when we first moved in and I hastily threw it all together (hence the wrinkled teepee). Things are a bit different now. I will have to get some photos this week to share with you. It feels so good to have space for play again.


p.s. - Our wooden trapeze bar/swing is from Wiwiurka  and Baby F's playhouse can be found here.*

*Affiliate link.

Continuation?

Judge not

Can you guess who added sharks to the nature table? Lately I have been feeling the pull more and more to close myself up and hide myself away from this world. To become a hermit, protecting my empath heart and thin skin from the cruelty outside my home. Granted, I would never really do such a thing but the thought has been there. I am sure Baby F's dislike of any place that isn't our home (well, except the pool and being out in nature) hasn't exactly helped the matter, but I understand and accept that. He is new to this world and still learning what it's all about. I don't blame him for not wanting to go out to crowded noisy stores. I don't really like to either but every two weeks I know it must be done if we want to eat, so I venture out.

That brings me to my experience over the weekend. It was payday so we did our usual grocery shopping. Shopping is a family event for us and Kevin and I take the opportunity to get one on one time with our children as we go off to look for things. As I mentioned, Baby F does not like going shopping in the least bit. He'll tolerate it some days but usually Kevin and I take turns wearing or holding him, trying to keep him happy, while the other one shops. Well, we were near the end of our shopping and Baby F lost it. I was wearing him at the time so I took him out and tried everything within my power to comfort him and make him happy but my efforts were in vain. I was on the opposite side of the store of my family so I had to walk over to let them know that I was going to go outside with Baby F and to see if they could finish the shopping for me (there was no cell phone reception in the store, by the way, so I couldn't just call Kevin to let him know). Well, as I was walking through, lovingly holding, kissing and sweetly talking to my crying baby I received a numerous amount of dirty looks, whispers, harsh stares and judgemental eyes. So many, in fact, that I walked the rest of the way with my head down so I wouldn't make eye contact with anyone. I am not going to lie - it hurt! As if it didn't break my heart enough that my poor little guy was miserable and I couldn't calm him. I just don't understand - Why would anyone think that making someone else feel even worse would bring about good?

I feel that it is not my place to judge. I know I have been guilty of being (internally) judgemental in the past and I continue to fight that demon as many of us do. Maybe this day was a reminder of how hurtful it can be. It definitely humbled me down even more. I try to go out of my way when I see a mother struggling and give her a reassuring smile or kind words. Anything to help her through that moment because, really, we have all been there. I feel like it is the least I can do.

 My heart breaks a little for the people that went out of their way to make me feel horrible. Thankfully as I sat outside with tears in my eyes a sweet old man came up and started talking to me. He was telling me all about his ten children and how 3 of them had red hair like mine. I think that man was an angel in disguise.

On another note, some beautiful bird music to meditate on.

Yellow headed black birds:
A red winged black bird (and Baby F singing along):

Judge not

Laterne, Laterne {Martinmas 2015}

I didn't think we would manage it but somehow we pulled off a pretty nice Martinmas this year. We tied our celebration in with C's 2nd grade Saints and Heroes main lesson, which worked out quite nicely. I had plan to make wool lanterns but then we decided to scratch that idea when we remembered how strong the wind was on last year's lantern walk. We went with simple watercolor painted lanterns instead. They seemed a bit sturdier and up to the challenge. Little L decided he didn't want to make a lantern this year so he used his one from last year instead. Nara was the dog of choice for this Martinmas and she wore her SAR blinking light on her harness as her lantern.

The children all donned St. Martin cloaks for a couple of photographs but then changed into some winter coats for the actual walk. The weather was much more agreeable this year and we actually became quite hot on our walk. Even so, the children still wanted their traditional hot apple cider and roasted chestnuts when we returned home (by lantern light, of course!).

K serenaded us with Martinmas songs on her flute before we all headed off to bed. I thought I would share one of them with all of you:



Laterne, Laterne

Laterne, Laterne
Sonne, Mond und Sterne Brenne auf,
mein Licht, Brenne auf,
mein Licht Aber nur meine liebe Laterne nicht.

I can't speak or sing German but K sings this quite beautifully.The English version is known as My Lantern and can be found in the Wynstones Press Autumn book.

Laterne, Laterne {Martinmas 2015}

Bookends

For a bit over a week now, I have been beginning my days with Restore (somehow first thing before my children wake even!) and ending them with Heather King's Shirt of Flame. Can't you just hear my deep exhale? Peace These encouraging bookends to my days have really helped to fuel my soul and inspire me to try harder and give it my all. I felt unprepared going into Lent this year and these two (that I am nicknaming the dynamic duo) have really helped me focus on what's important. Elizabeth's prompts and prayers in the Restore workshop give me the purpose and direction I need when I first wake up (which for me is a time of day when I typically feel vulnerable and lost).

Heather's words and emotions on her walk with Saint Therese seem to reach my very core. She has me seeing a small way I am similar to Therese - her hypersensitivity and habit of melodramatically over-emoting:

I was really unbearable due to my overly great sensitivity. So if it happened that I involuntarily gave a slight amount of trouble to a person I loved, instead of taking the high road and not crying, I increased my fault, instead of reducing it, by crying like a baby. And when I started to become comforted by the thing itself, I cried because I had cried...All this reasoning was useless, and I couldn't manage to correct this wicked fault. [Story of a Soul Saint Therese of Lisieux p. 102]

Please don't get me wrong, I am not comparing myself to Saint Therese. I am not a saint nor shall I ever be one but seeing this small connection to her helps me to realize that I am not alone and that as tiny as I am I can still do great things with my life. I look forward to sharing this with K when she is older for I already know she will treasure it just as I am right now.



p.s. - You see that spectacular shark pencil pouch? My brilliant friend made it for Little L for his birthday. Of course he is in love with it and now uses his colored pencils daily just so he can see his pouch!

Bookends