I try to keep everything positive on here (and in my life, in general) so I haven't mentioned any of this before but now it is such a huge issue I can no longer ignore it. I have to say: no, I am not looking for sympathy or anything really from this post. My husband really doesn't like to talk about it and I understand his thoughts on that. I just feel the need to be completely real and, quite frankly, just to get this off my shoulders so perhaps I can feel better and see things more clearly.
We have been struggling financially for quite some time now but trying to ignore the struggle with credit cards (yeah, not wise!). We knew that sending K to our beloved Waldorf school would mean some hardships and struggles for us but we were ready to accept them at any cost because this education is the most important thing to us (I am wishing all the money spent on toys in Virginia was put towards savings for school, though, *ahem*). We just didn't realize how hard it is to survive out here.
When we moved to the beautiful west coast our money problems became progressively worse and worse (I still can't get over how expensive it is to live out here). Basics like warm healthy meals, heat, gas, etc are now considered luxuries. To add to it our old house is falling apart around us, we just learned it is uninsulated (so that's why we can't get the temp in our home above 59 degrees), the windows may as well not even exist, there are too many things to list that need to be fixed BUT we can't afford to do any of them. I don't want to bore you or go into details of our struggles but let's just say it's not so good. The ideas of foreclosure and bankruptcy have been tossed around quite a bit, just so we can survive. We had a possibility of help and were really counting on it,but alas, that fell through.
Wow, just getting that out there feels like a ton of bricks off of me.
With that in mind, the stress alone has kept me pretty occupied but we also had to cut out every bill we could, that meant good-bye to the internet. I am able to get online every now and then right now at our library or my husband's office but not every day like I used to.
We do have a glimmer of hope at the moment, my husband is up for promotion in March which would bring us a little bit more money. But promotion is all based on a long written test instead of on how well he's been doing (gotta love government jobs). So he is currently studying his butt off and we all have our fingers crossed (please cross yours for us, too!). I honestly wish I could somehow take all the pressure off of him. He works so, so hard (we barely get to see him anymore), and I know what ever stress I am feeling, he has it 100 times worse.
We are taking everything day by day right now and just living in each moment, trying not to dwell on the negatives. There is too much to love about life to let anything, no matter how great or how small, get us down.
I mean, every cloud has it's silver lining, right? Well, I have been reminding myself that everything happens for a reason and to find the bright side of things. If things are meant to be then they will be.
There are amazing things happening to us, as well...
-Our sweet little baby is due oh so soon with much excitement and anticipation
-K and C's play has transformed in such a beautiful way that my husband and I just
can't stop watching them
-We have an incredible, incredible community at school wanting and waiting to help us out with our new arrival
-Our little K has never been happier in all her life. Thanks to our school she is thriving more than ever could be imagined. I just can't get over it. She is growing and changing so much from her wonderful influences at school, we are so very, very blessed and grateful
-I was asked to contribute to a really fun book and I accepted. The deadline is really soon so that has been keeping me busy, too ;)
-We are really appreciating the simple things in life more and more, and just loving each others' company
-I feel even more connected to my girls, and even with my crazy pregnant hormones, I see the patience they are teaching me really paying off
-Nana and Grandpa will be coming out to see us this year and we are all thrilled
-We witnessed K talking to her guardian angel, telling her how happy and thankful she is for school
-We have made some inspiring, special friends and spend many a days at the (nice and warm) school library playing, knitting/crafting and talking
-The baby's blanket is about 95% done (but that's more of a personal triumph for me)
-Above all : we have love, and really isn't that all that truly matters???
Well, there you go. I tried to make it a short explanation but even the short version is rather long, eh? I still have some Christmas pics and other positive things to share, hopefully before this Winter babe arrives.
Thanks for reading all my rambling, I know it was a lot to get through!
Sending all of you love and warmth.
