Good News!

Remember Kevin's test I referred to in the 'Dark Side' post a couple of months ago?

Well, we just got the news that he passed so he's being promoted! The raise doesn't take effect until January or so and it won't be a lot but still every penny helps! I am just so proud of him and had to share it with the world!

The lessons we are learning and that silver lining are becoming clearer and clearer. I am really grateful and appreciative for all the little things every day now. Everything happens for a reason, and I believe that with every ounce of my being.

Woo Hoo!

Good News!

The Dark Side... (or What We Have Been Up To)

Thank you everyone for your sweet comments and concern. I feel I still owe you, at least, a quick explanation as to what has been going on with us. Unfortunately it hasn't been nesting and baby bliss keeping me away (As much as I wish it was), but dilemmas and struggles instead.

I try to keep everything positive on here (and in my life, in general) so I haven't mentioned any of this before but now it is such a huge issue I can no longer ignore it. I have to say: no, I am not looking for sympathy or anything really from this post. My husband really doesn't like to talk about it and I understand his thoughts on that. I just feel the need to be completely real and, quite frankly, just to get this off my shoulders so perhaps I can feel better and see things more clearly.

We have been struggling financially for quite some time now but trying to ignore the struggle with credit cards (yeah, not wise!). We knew that sending K to our beloved Waldorf school would mean some hardships and struggles for us but we were ready to accept them at any cost because this education is the most important thing to us (I am wishing all the money spent on toys in Virginia was put towards savings for school, though, *ahem*). We just didn't realize how hard it is to survive out here.

When we moved to the beautiful west coast our money problems became progressively worse and worse (I still can't get over how expensive it is to live out here). Basics like warm healthy meals, heat, gas, etc are now considered luxuries. To add to it our old house is falling apart around us, we just learned it is uninsulated (so that's why we can't get the temp in our home above 59 degrees), the windows may as well not even exist, there are too many things to list that need to be fixed BUT we can't afford to do any of them. I don't want to bore you or go into details of our struggles but let's just say it's not so good. The ideas of foreclosure and bankruptcy have been tossed around quite a bit, just so we can survive. We had a possibility of help and were really counting on it,but alas, that fell through.

Wow, just getting that out there feels like a ton of bricks off of me.

With that in mind, the stress alone has kept me pretty occupied but we also had to cut out every bill we could, that meant good-bye to the internet. I am able to get online every now and then right now at our library or my husband's office but not every day like I used to.

We do have a glimmer of hope at the moment, my husband is up for promotion in March which would bring us a little bit more money. But promotion is all based on a long written test instead of on how well he's been doing (gotta love government jobs). So he is currently studying his butt off and we all have our fingers crossed (please cross yours for us, too!). I honestly wish I could somehow take all the pressure off of him. He works so, so hard (we barely get to see him anymore), and I know what ever stress I am feeling, he has it 100 times worse.

We are taking everything day by day right now and just living in each moment, trying not to dwell on the negatives. There is too much to love about life to let anything, no matter how great or how small, get us down.

I mean, every cloud has it's silver lining, right? Well, I have been reminding myself that everything happens for a reason and to find the bright side of things. If things are meant to be then they will be.
There are amazing things happening to us, as well...

-Our sweet little baby is due oh so soon with much excitement and anticipation
-K and C's play has transformed in such a beautiful way that my husband and I just
can't stop watching them
-We have an incredible, incredible community at school wanting and waiting to help us out with our new arrival
-Our little K has never been happier in all her life. Thanks to our school she is thriving more than ever could be imagined. I just can't get over it. She is growing and changing so much from her wonderful influences at school, we are so very, very blessed and grateful
-I was asked to contribute to a really fun book and I accepted. The deadline is really soon so that has been keeping me busy, too ;)
-We are really appreciating the simple things in life more and more, and just loving each others' company
-I feel even more connected to my girls, and even with my crazy pregnant hormones, I see the patience they are teaching me really paying off
-Nana and Grandpa will be coming out to see us this year and we are all thrilled
-We witnessed K talking to her guardian angel, telling her how happy and thankful she is for school
-We have made some inspiring, special friends and spend many a days at the (nice and warm) school library playing, knitting/crafting and talking
-The baby's blanket is about 95% done (but that's more of a personal triumph for me)
-Above all : we have love, and really isn't that all that truly matters???

Well, there you go. I tried to make it a short explanation but even the short version is rather long, eh? I still have some Christmas pics and other positive things to share, hopefully before this Winter babe arrives.

Thanks for reading all my rambling, I know it was a lot to get through!
Sending all of you love and warmth.

The Dark Side... (or What We Have Been Up To)

The Truth, The Whole Truth & Nothing But The Truth

What would I do without my comic relief?!

I hope this posts makes sense. My computer is acting up and keeps freezing as I try to type this. I felt the need to share one of my days this week. I normally try to keep my posts positive and share mostly those sweet moments of day to day life that I want to savour and remember always. This blog is my reminder of those times. Sometimes, when I am having a hard day, I will sit down with the girls and we'll look at the blog together, and it will remind us of all the joy in our lives.
The downside to posting this way is that it can give the impression that we have these picture perfect days everyday. I don't think I would be human if that was the case.

Wednesday was one of those days. The kind you wish you could just erase. The kind where you feel like the worst person in the world; the worst parent in the world, like you just destroyed all that is good in your children. We all have our ups and downs on any given day but this was one of those days where it was just downhill and I couldn't get myself back up.

Honestly, I have been trying to re-energize and get back to our normal rhythm after the entire month of February was wiped out for us with everyone being sick. C was so cranky and clingy the whole month, and with my husband having to work so much and be gone all day, every day, I never got a break. I think we all know we need some kind of break somewhere to maintain our sanity. I haven't really had a break since we moved here, and February was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

My patience was nearly at zero from the moment I got out of bed Wednesday, which is never a good way to start the day. It's funny, too, because the night before I had all these grand ideas of things to do with the girls all day and I couldn't wait to wake up and start them, but then I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
I yelled, I cried, they cried. I had to lock myself in a room with our dog Nara for a couple of minutes to re-gain my sanity.(What is it about being around animals that is just so calming?) I apologized about a million times for our horrible day. I couldn't shake it and couldn't wait for it to be over to start over the next day.


Nara Gnome

Thank the Heavens, Thursday was nothing like Wednesday.

I thought I would take this opportunity to share a Zen Buddhist story (the same I shared with Pia last month) that I recite in my head when I am upset, preoccupied and unable to focus on the joy and beauty in the moment.

'A Heavy Load'

Two traveling monks reached a town and saw a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. There were deep, muddy puddles and she couldn't’t step across without spoiling her silken robes. She impatiently scolded her attendants, who were burdened with heavy packages, so they could not help her across.

The younger monk walked by the young woman without speaking. But the older monk stopped and picked her up on his back, carried her across the mud and set her down on the other side. She did not thank the monk, she just shoved him out of her way and scurried by him haughtily.

As the two monks continued on their way, the younger monk was brooding and preoccupied. After a long time, unable to hold his silence, he finally spoke out. “That woman back there was very selfish and rude but you picked her up and carried her! She didn't even thank you.”

“I set the woman down hours ago,” the older monk replied. “Why are you still carrying her?”


Thank you everyone for just being here with me in this little space.
Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!!

The Truth, The Whole Truth & Nothing But The Truth