Welcome June Sponsors!

A warm welcome to my latest sponsor:


The Wiwiurka adventure began for Ana and Marek, the husband and wife team, and the creative brains and hands behind the company when their oldest daughter was born. Now with three beautiful daughters as their inspiration, the stay-at-home parents have lots of fun designing and making wooden toys and play structures all the while keeping in the beauty, safety, and functionality of their woodwork. The family resides in the mountain of Tepoztlan, Mexico, where they enjoy their peaceful days surrounded by the beauty and calmness of the forest, and the sounds of the farm animals nearby. The naturally shaped wood used is harvested and seasoned by Marek, a woodcraftsman that was a landscape designer in Germany.


Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to all of my readers and sponsors for your support.

For affordable sponsorship with ever growing exposure please do be in touch: FarmerGOPI@yahoo.com 

Welcome June Sponsors!

(un)grateful

I have been hesitant to even try posting what I am about to say as it is a sensitive topic and I am not exactly sure how to approach it, nor can I seem to articulate the emotions I am feeling. But it is something that I have been struggling with for a couple of years now and I am hoping that my sharing might help others who are going through what I am. I know there are quite a few out there, some of them my own dear friends. I just want you to know you are not alone.

So here goes.

I have always envisioned myself having a large family. Five little souls seemed like a good starting point to me. As a teenager I would surround myself with children by volunteering for children's story time every week at the local bookstore near where I lived in California. I absolutely adored each and every one of those kids that would come and see me week after week. After that I had the opportunity to nanny the sweetest three year old boy for many months. I can still see him hanging on to my neck as we hiked up in the mountains, something we did almost daily (unless the beach called us instead). I treasure those memories as they helped me to realize that being a Mama was my calling.

As each one of my own children came into my life, the desire to have a large family became even stronger. My heart would grow bigger with each birth, far beyond what I thought I was ever humanly capable of and I knew it would just continue to grow. And then the gift of watching the siblings interact, quarrel (then learn and grow from the quarreling), and love one another would just expand my heart even more. I truly understood that children are a gift.

But it has been five years now since I was pregnant with Little L. The largest gap we have ever had between children. The hope and despair month after month has begun to really take it's toll on me. What if this is it for me and the path I dreamed of is not to be realized?

I feel horribly guilty about feeling sad. Who am I to be depressed over not having more babies when there are others out there who struggle to have their first and I already have three amazing blessings who fill me with endless joy everyday? I sound selfish and ungrateful, I know I do. Yet my heart still aches.

Emotional triggers seem to be everywhere for me. I am always extremely happy for others when they share the good news that they are expecting but I do admit I also get a small pain in my heart, wishing it was me. I have learned to take breaks from some of my favorite blogs (all of which are about large families) if I am feeling especially down.

My girls are constantly asking when we will have another baby. They both love doting on them so, even stranger's babies. A few weeks back K actually told me that she doesn't think it's going to happen any longer. Her grief seemed to be a reflection of my own that I hide on the inside.

I am still praying and not giving up hope but I am trying to learn to accept that this may just be God's plan for me. I am grateful.

I wanted to end with something my friend Kerrie recently said to me, "Wanting more doesn't make you ungrateful -- it just means you love being a mama."

My heart goes out to those of you hoping for a child at this time (be it your first, second or seventh!). Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love,
Nicole

(un)grateful

Keep Calm Craft On {crafting on}

The act of creating, in one form or another, preserves my sanity amongst the chaos of life. This explains why I always have more than one project going at a time as well as why my housework tends to fall behind. I enjoy seeing what others are working on and keeping calm with, too. What are you creating? What is keeping you going? Snap a picture or two and share it with the rest of us by leaving your link below.



After finishing up my starshower I have decided that one just can not have enough cowls (especially since my daughters like to borrow mine quite often). So now I am working on a honey cowl in the beautiful fragrant colorway of MadTosh. It's quite the fast knit with just enough variety to keep me interested.

What are you working on?! Happy creating!

An InLinkz Link-up

Keep Calm Craft On {crafting on}

Gardening, Sewing & Rambling

Marigold sprouts Calendula sprouts in L's garden Wind rushing through my columbine plant Is this our peppermint? Or this? My new babies! A rare and very welcome sight

I have been doing some major rearranging and decluttering in the children's playroom which resulted in a temporary new home for one half of our playstands. Little L is quite happy with the new set up. He instantly filled the playstand shelves with his toys. Something very exciting will be going up in the playroom once I am finished and I can't wait to share it with you!

Our garden is finally starting to sprout and the children can hardly contain their excitement. Little L runs out at least five times a day to check on his sprouts. He'll usually come running back into the house grinning from ear to ear exclaiming that there is another new sprout (since the last time he looked maybe an hour ago).

Our chickweed still hasn't sprouted and I am beginning to wonder if it might not at all. We were really hoping to have fresh chickweed for the recipes included in our current Herb Fairies book (Stellaria, the chickweed fairy) but if all else fails, we'll try again next spring. We did finally turn our chickweed/calendula/comfrey infused oil into an herbal all purpose salve today. So that counts towards a chickweed lesson, right? Oh speaking of Herb Fairies, look at that gorgeous mug C won through a giveaway on the Herbal Roots blog. I would love to be able to make such beautiful artwork!

While on the topic of gardening - my family and I have been doing a little bit of plant rescuing. There is a neighborhood close to us where everyone has been moved out and the houses are being torn down. The children love the playground there so we are still going while we can. A few nights ago the girls noticed some plants that the previous residents left behind in their front yards and asked if we could bring them home. Since the plants will just be killed we thought I was a good idea. K said it was our latest form of rescue. I love how she thinks. My favorite plant that we rescued was a columbine. I was anxious for a few days after we brought it home and planted it in a pot because it looked like it wasn't going to survive. Thankfully it was just transplant shock and it quickly recovered. I love peaking out my door and seeing those beautiful flowers swaying in the wind.

I have also become a tad bit obsessed with bringing the outdoors in and covering our home in as many houseplants as I can manage. I haven't been keeping many houseplants the past few years because our cats kill them all but I am hoping that if I hang them high enough, they will survive. Wish me luck! I have mostly succulents to start with but am hoping for more that really purify the air, including spider plants.

I am playing around with the triangle shaped scraps from C's birthday quilt and thinking about more pillows. I am not sure if I like my current idea or not. Maybe I need to rearrange the triangle so the colors go better? I don't know. Or maybe just start all over with a new idea.

Wishing you all a wonderful Memorial Day weekend! We are looking forward to some good quality family time.  I hope that whatever you have planned, it brings you happiness and joy! See you next week.

love,
Nicole

p.s. - I am horrible at identifying the different varieties of mint. We bought a pot with peppermint and pineapple mint in it (or so it was labeled) but now which is which? Can you tell??

p.p.s. - If you haven't seen this book, you have to check it out right away. Such a great children's book bringing awareness to the importance of our honeybees!

Gardening, Sewing & Rambling

Keep Calm Craft On {crafting on}

The act of creating, in one form or another, preserves my sanity amongst the chaos of life. This explains why I always have more than one project going at a time as well as why my housework tends to fall behind. I enjoy seeing what others are working on and keeping calm with, too. What are you creating? What is keeping you going? Snap a picture or two and share it with the rest of us by leaving your link below.

annnnnd back to sewing. The children's cozy reading nook in the front room needs more pillows. This seems like a good time to experiment with some quilting. I am a quilt by the seat of my pants kind of gal following no instructions other than what I envision in my head. Sometimes it works, often times not so much... Eh, here's hoping this time will work out!

What are you working on?! Happy creating!

An InLinkz Link-up

Keep Calm Craft On {crafting on}

The birds and the bees *UPDATE*

Oh my. What a wondrous and full day today was! A day to answer our calling and to carry on St. Francis' spirit for sure. We started the day watching this year's magpie fledglings fly for the very first time out of our tree and onto the ground behind our home (remember last year's?!) Well, I actually missed them (too slow out of bed) but Kevin and our children saw it all. Lucky ducks!

Then early in the afternoon, after we came home from a bike ride to the store, a swarm of honeybees flew past Kevin and landed in a small tree behind our house. As you can see in the photographs above, they are right next to a walking path around our neighborhood.  First we stood awestruck watching them protect their queen and then it suddenly dawned on us what danger they were in. You see, this base we live on is not kind to wildlife in any way. Nature is seen a nuisance that needs to be dealt with, not helped or saved. If anyone else on base happened upon this swarm, a report would be made and the bees would be exterminated straight away. We couldn't let that happen. We contacted all the beekeepers would could find (all of them are at least an hour's drive from our home) but being Sunday not too many picked up their phones. All the while we were watching them vigilantly, making sure they were safe. We did find one beekeeper willing to make the drive to us tomorrow morning to rescue the bees if no one else responds tonight. Now I just pray they remain safe on that tree until the morning.

Our day came to an end rescuing one of the aforementioned magpie babies that was unable to get back up in his tree. One of our German shepherds found him in the backyard. Thankfully our dog didn't harm him but there are numerous neighborhood cats that visit our yard at night so Kevin gently guided him back up to the tree (taking care not to touch him). Phew, what a day!

Now we need to get back to watching over the bees and trying to call more beekeepers again. Please keep them in your thoughts. I hope to have good news to report back with tomorrow.


***UPDATE*** a beekeeper in Boise found someone local to come and get our swarm (Yes, I am referring to them as our swarm). He came earlier today and we were able to watch as he captured the swarm and got them safe and sound into the hive he brought with him. We spoke with him afterwards and it truly was a serendipitous event. All of his bees didn't make it through the winter and now he has these bees to look after. The whole thing just makes my heart sing! He told us that if they produce enough honey this year, we will be the first ones to get some. How amazing would that be? These past couple of days have really made my desire to keep bees even stronger. I can't wait until we move and are able to do so. Kevin, who was reluctant these past few years, if even on board now!

The birds and the bees *UPDATE*

All Creatures Great & Small

Balsamorhiza hookeri or Hooker's Balsamroot Lomatium nudicaule or Barestem Biscuitroot/Indian Celery

A couple of weeks ago C's painted lady butterflies emerged from their chrysalides. The first couple came out without us noticing, so we all sat around the butterfly habitat watching and waiting for the rest. One by one they emerged, so very small and fragile looking. We would watch them gain strength and force blood into their crumpled wings until they were full and beautiful. By the end of the day, nine out of the ten butterflies were drinking nectar from the dandelions we gathered (chemical free from our own backyard).

One chrysalis did not hatch. It was the smallest one and last one to form. We held on to hope that it would emerge safely. After a day, we knew we had to let the other butterflies go and couldn't wait on the last one any longer. But then, as if it knew we were waiting on it, it emerged! We sat as a family around the habitat and planned where we could set them free. We couldn't let them go outside our home in good conscience, as the whole area we live in is rental property and gets sprayed with toxic chemicals regularly (thankfully, not our backyards, though!). We had quite a hard time thinking of a safe place for them. I honestly can't get over how much thought (and perhaps overthought) we put into finding just the right place for them. It was a bit agonizing and had me thinking of the future. I hope by the time our own little ones are ready to spread their wings and fly, we can let go a bit easier with less worry!

We did eventually find the perfect place after driving about forty five minutes away from our neighborhood, near the mountains where there were endless hills of desert wildflowers and only a few farms to be seen. We released all but one of our dear butterfly friends, the last one to emerge still didn't seem quite right. His wings were still crumpled and his legs didn't seem to work so the girls thought it best they try to nurse him to health first before we let him go.

It was such a gift to watch our butterflies fly out of their habitat and land on us. It was as if they were saying goodbye. Then they would fly from flower to flower in the endless amounts of Hooker's balsamroot and Indian Celery and drink in the sweet nectar. On a side note - I was pulling my hair out trying to identify the flowers in hope that they might be used medicinally or even edible. The one (Indian Celery) smelled so much like celery I wanted to take a big bite out of it but I knew to hold off until I could identify it. I scoured my books and the internet to no avail. Then, thankfully, I found help in the Mud Puddles to Meteors group. We positively identified both of the plants and plan to go back and harvest some. Both plants were used by the Native Americans as food and we hope to do the same...maybe even tie them into K's next Native American main lesson ;)

Saying good-bye
Sadly, the tiniest butterfly didn't make it. That evening, after releasing the butterflies, Kevin and I could see he wouldn't last much longer. We told the children to say their goodbyes and to give him lots of love. It was hard on them as they truly love all of God's creatures so. But I think saying goodbye brought them some comfort. The next morning he passed on.

Overall the experience was incredible beyond words. The children can't wait to do it again but this time with either ladybugs or praying mantises. Once our garden is up and running we will do it again.

All Creatures Great & Small

Keep Calm Craft On {crafting on}

The act of creating, in one form or another, preserves my sanity amongst the chaos of life. This explains why I always have more than one project going at a time as well as why my housework tends to fall behind. I enjoy seeing what others are working on and keeping calm with, too. What are you creating? What is keeping you going? Snap a picture or two and share it with the rest of us by leaving your link below.


Still chugging along on Little L's Flax sweater. I changed up the garter band portion a bit and decided on a broken rib stitch instead. Admittedly, I am working on L's sweater because I came to a small bump in my FLS knitting that I just don't feel like sorting that out at the moment. I'll get back to it soon, though. I really want it to be finished so I can wear it before the summer heat comes!

What are you working on?! Happy creating!

An InLinkz Link-up

Keep Calm Craft On {crafting on}

A Vessel of Life

their faces!

Often times I wonder how my children really see me. Do they see me as kind, gentle and loving (what I hope for) or as a mean rule maker, ruining all their fun? I always fear it is the latter (especially after really off days, like one night when Grandma was visiting). Well, you can imagine my surprise when I saw that K wrote that I was kind and well loved on the chalkboard today. Kevin had something silly written about me (it was a game we were playing back and forth over the weekend) and K said it just wasn't true and changed it to what she felt was true. Oh boy, that made my day!

During Mass today the girls and I were given carnations as a Mother's Day gift and our priest spoke about mothers being a vessel of life. I had never really thought about it that way before. What a gift to be a vessel, I am so grateful for that privilege.  And I am so very grateful for my mother, the one who gave me life, and all that she has ever done for me. I cringe when I think about all that I put her through growing up (I was both strong-willed and rebellious), but I know despite all of my ways, she loves me as only a mother could.

p.s. - Pics from our trip to Bruneau Dunes today.

A Vessel of Life